British independent politician Janice Atkinson has demanded that the United Kingdom reintroduce the death penalty for suicide bombers. "Much needs to be done to eradicate this evil," she said in the wake of the bombing that killed 22 people at a pop concert in Manchester in May 2017. "But there is one simple step which we can take now: we must bring back the death penalty."
She made it clear that she knows there’s a tiny little flaw with her plan. "Then there will be those who say that the death penalty is not a deterrent, that the warped perpetrators want in any case to die," she stated. "None of the above arguments stand up. Not now. We are at war and war crimes and terror cannot be given any quarter or allowed any glimpse of victory. I'm not wringing my hands trying to find answers, I’m a politician, it’s my job to come up with answers."
It is very hard to fathom how somebody as stupid as Janice Atkinson could manage to tie her shoelaces, let alone get into politics and represent a constituency. One has to feel sorry for the people who voted for her. Her sheer lack of logic and common-sense, as demonstrated with this imbecilic proposal, should rule her out of any political role, let alone holding down any responsible job.
Obviously Atkinson does not seem to realise that when a suicide bomber kills himself and others - the word "suicide" is relevant here - the bomber cannot be given the death penalty because he is already dead. And that is not a tiny little flaw. This is the massive flaw that makes Atkinson's proposal probably the most idiotic thing to come out of a politician's mouth in decades. They don't get much more stupid than this woman.
Marcos Pacheco-Bustamante likes to impersonate being a police officer but his observational skills need a little brushing up. He set a blue siren atop his police-like Ford Crown Victoria and turned it on as he drove behind an SUV in Miami, Florida. The SUV stopped on the side of Interstate 95, the main highway on the east coast, and 46-year-old Pacheco-Bustamante got out of his vehicle.
He would have been surprised to find that the driver of the SUV was Miami-Dade Police Department Detective Alton Martin, dressed in full uniform. The SUV is an unmarked police vehicle. Pacheco-Bustamante was arrested, charged with falsely impersonating a police officer and taken into custody. His bail is set at $5,000.
"He indicated to detectives when interviewed that he's done this before," Miami-Dade Detective Jennifer Capote stated. Capote said that Pacheco-Bustamante claimed that when he had previously impersonated a police officer, he did it with good intentions. Usually, he claimed, it was to warn a driver who had been texting or speeding. When his vehicle was searched they found a BB gun a replica that Capote said looked real.
This is not the first time by any means that this has happened. Many wannabe cops have accosted real police and been arrested and charged for their stupidity. It is not hard for any person to buy blue and red flashing lights and fake police ID badges, but even easier for them is to exhibit the sort of stupidity that Marcos Pacheco-Bustamante showed when he didn't check out exactly whom he was pulling over. One can imagine that his days of playing cop are well and truly over.
In Britain, an alleged spiritual healer from Birmingham tricked a woman into having sex with him to solve her marriage problems and then made her pay $7500. Muslim fraudster Syed Shah conned the 28-year-old mother into believing he could "purify" her relationship. Shah was found guilty of two charges of rape and one of fraud following a trial at Birmingham Crown Court.
Judge Patrick Thomas QC jailed him for 12 years, after it was revealed that he had sexually assaulted a woman while performing a healing ritual. Shah also was ordered to register as a sex offender for life and must pay the victim $12,600 in compensation.
The court heard how the woman, who had been married for three years and had a young son, was having difficulties in her marriage. A friend introduced her in June 2015 to Shah, who offered to help "cure" her marriage. The ritual involved sacrificing a goat and getting her to perform daily readings from the Koran. She later returned to tell Shah that nothing had changed. He told her that there were more rituals to be carried out and they involved having sex with him.
One can understand a conman like Shah trying to trick people out of money, but it boggles the mind to think of the utter stupidity and gullibility of this woman, who thought that sacrificing a goat and having sex with another person would save her marriage. It is blatantly obvious that her marriage was on the rocks because her husband realised what a dumb idiot he married.
But Muslims are as dumb as rocks anyway. They worship and revere a genocidal paedophile called Mohammed and they believe the utter bullshit in the Koran. Being indoctrinated into this crap from birth does not allow Muslims to even consider that it's just a pile of nonsensical rubbish. On top of that, Muslims have centuries of inbreeding history, so it would not be surprising to find that this woman was mentally retarded anyway, which would account for her utter stupidity.
Really stupid iPhone 7 users have been tricked into drilling a hole into their phone in a bid to get a headphone socket. A YouTube video claiming to show users how to get the much-missed sound input went viral, with many morons following its lead.
Owners who purchased these very expensive smartphones copied the video's instructions to place the phone in a clamp and take a 3.5mm drill to where the headphone hole used to be. Needless to say, drilling a hole into an iPhone will leave the owner with a very broken handset and certainly not a headphone socket.
Apple’s newest model ditched the headphone socket in favour of bluetooth headphones or headphones with Apple's Lightning connector to make more room for internal hardware. But every iPhone 7 comes with a Lightning-to3.5mm headphone socket, so that people who wish to use wired analogue headphones can easily do so. But customers have been left angry at the decision, with some taking extreme measures to bring back the headphone socket. As a result, some dummies were duped into destroying their new handsets with the cruel DIY tip.
"I tried this and ended up with display destruction and it not working. I really committed the biggest mistake of my life by watching this video," commented James Ceja. And it appears he wasn’t the only one.
"A friend of mine told me it worked for him, but my iPhone won’t turn on after I drilled the hole for the jack," David Iriarte added. "I checked and it was the 3.5mm drill, so I made no mistake there! What happened? Any of you have the same problem?"
Another iPhone user had not yet drilled his iPhone 7, although his comments showed that he was willing. "OK I am sure it's in the comments somewhere but my friend told me to ask what size drill bit am I supposed to use,” an iPhone 7 purchaser using the name "Toekneechair" wrote on social media. "Also I don't have that clamp thingy, can I or my friend hold it while we drill? I don't want to ruin my phone."
But instead of rushing to help the clueless users, cruel commenters have instead tricked them with false advice. "Since some people are still having issues, a bit of advice. The guy seems to have missed the part about cleaning the phone after drilling," Mark Johnson wrote. "In order to clean out the 3.5mm socket of debris from the drill, you need to soak the phone in soapy water for around 15 minutes so all the drill shavings are loosened. Then give the phone a shake once you're done. Hope this helps someone."
Apple technicians and sales staff must be shaking their heads at the abject stupidity of people who have more money than brains. One would think that even an imbecile could figure out that if the headphone jack had been discontinued from the iPhone 7, then it certainly would not be lurking somewhere under the iPhone's case. But the people who actually took drills to their brand-new iPhone 7's instead of using the supplied Lightning-to-3.5mm socket dongle are more stupid than imbeciles.
It will be interesting to see their faces when they march into Apple stores and demand their money back because there was no headphone socket to be found, after they had destroyed their brand-new and very expensive iPhones. Now that would be priceless.
In July 2016, Northern Territory police received a call to intervene in a family dispute. It wasn’t any ordinary dispute. According to Duty Superintendent Louise Jorgensen, a young man from the small town of Humpty Doo was engaged in an argument with his father. The fight became aggressive before the father began burning the other’s property, to with, his son's prized cannabis plants in a bonfire on the property.
But instead of dealing with the problem in house, the young man phoned police, despite the fact that in doing so he was obviously incriminating himself. Police did not say how much cannabis was burnt in the fire.
Police asked the son why he reported the matter, knowing that he too was committing a crime. "It was questioned whether he was aware that possession of cannabis was unlawful and he could be liable to prosecution for the same. He seemed to believe that the destruction of the cannabis plant was far worse than the possession in the first instance."
Superintendent Jorgensen stated that no charges were laid and that both father and son were embarrassed. "The evidence has been destroyed, along with the young man's reputation. He has now moved out to reside with other relatives."
What a shame that idiocy, stupidity and imbecility are not crimes, because if they were, the moron who called the cops about his cannabis plant would be spending the rest of his life in jail. How stupid is stupid? Well, this guy has done a good job of moving the Stupid Bar up a few notches. One has to wonder how he manages to tie his shoelaces up - but then again, he probably always wears rubber thongs because tying shoelaces would be way beyond his capabilities.
In May 2016 in Tweed Heads NSW, a man was left red-faced when firefighters had to be called to hospital to remove a ring spanner from his penis. The man became stuck after his penis swelled up in the ring spanner and was he unable to remove it.
Tweed firefighters say it not uncommon for them to be called to such jobs where people leave it too late to ask for help. "It's really dangerous, because inevitably people leave it too long to come see us because they are embarrassed, or say my wife said to put butter on it, sleep on it and it will go down," said senior firefighter Peter Sutherland. "It never does."
Sutherland said that one man took his girlfriend with him to the hospital. "The blood goes into the appendage whether it's a finger or whatever, it just swells up and by the time you realise, it's too late," he said. "We use a tiny angle grinder that's air operated and use measuring tape to protect the skin and slowly zip away at it while keeping water running on it so it doesn’t get too hot. It's a pretty delicate operation especially where it is - there’s a lot of blood vessels. We do quite a few of them."
The firefighter said that the fire brigade is called out often to remove various devices that have captured the penises of stupid fools. Why is it that men are so tempted to stick their dicks into things where they do not belong, rather than stick it into the receptacle for which it is made - a female?
There was one hilarious case of the idiot who staggered into a hospital Emergency Room holding a tenpin bowling ball to his crotch. Of course it didn't take any rocket scientists to figure it out and to the raucous guffaws of patients in the ER waiting area and the faces of hospital staff who were doing their best not to burst out laughing, this clown asked the staff to remove this 16 pound ball from his penis. We never found out exactly how it was done, but it would not have been a lot of fun for the victim of his own stupidity.
There is a lesson to be learned from such occurrences, that there is only one place (maybe two or three for the more adventurous) for a man to insert his cock and they all involve other willing people, not ring spanners, bowling balls, holes in walls and other inanimate objects.
It's a classic fairytale. In April 2016, The good villagers discovered a holy angel. The good villagers worshipped the holy angel. The good villagers eventually were told that the holy angel was actually a life-size not-so-holy sex toy.
When a fisherman from a small beach town in Indonesia found a seemingly lifeless body on the shore, he genuinely believed it was an angel that had fallen from heaven. Local news organisation Pojok Satu described it as an "angel child", which was "shining white, with round eyes with red eyebrows." They said, "This angel child also was found face down, crying and naked covered only a white cloth."
The whole village of Kalupapi was buzzing with excitement, until of course those pesky police had to get involved and ruin everything with the flaccid truth. "So it was checked by one of our team. It was a sex toy," stated the area’s police chief, Heru Pramukarno. The parents of the man who found the "angel" had cared for it every day, changing its clothes and giving it a blouse and hijab as it slowly deflated.
This isn't really a classic fairytale, but a classic demonstration of how ignorance and stupidity foments the rise of religions and cults. During World War Two, natives of Pacific islands saw aircraft landing and delivering supplies and they believed that they were gods that came from heaven and thus were born a myriad of cargo cults. This latest bout of ignorance merely proves how something out of the range of knowledge of people is immediately construed as being holy or a message from god.
These Indonesian villagers did not even bother to think about any alternative to their "angel" beliefs, which merely showed how people immediately assume that anything they don't quite understand must come from this mythical heaven. Maybe some of them should have tested the "angel" with a bit of rumpy-pumpy before she deflated.
In April 2016, 29 year old Irma Bule, an Indonesian pop singer known for performing with live snakes, died after a king cobra attacked her during a gig. Bule stood on the snake's tail, causing it to bite her on the thigh during a show at Karrawang, West Java. Remarkably, she continued playing for 45 minutes before falling ill. Bule refused an offer of antidote after the bite. But 45 minutes later, she collapsed on stage vomiting and suffering seizures and was taken to hospital, where she died. Bule was a folk-pop singer who regularly performed with large de-fanged snakes.
There is a lesson here - don't play games with venomous snakes, even if you think that they have been de-fanged. Irma Bule enrolled to be a Darwin Award nominee when she decided to use king cobras and other snakes in her show and she qualified for the Award when the cobra had enough of her singing. Obviously she didn't charm that snake and it decided that enough was enough. But Bule was dumb for refusing treatment, even when offered an antidote, so she paid the ultimate price for her stupidity.
In August 2015, a couple, both in their early thirties, fell 12 metres to their death while having sex at a historic fort on a tourist island. The man and woman, born in 1984, fell naked into the moat surrounding the historic castle that was built in 1859 on the main English Channel island of Chausey off Normandy, France. The 31-year-old man's naked body was found by a tourist in a dried-out part of the moat, while the woman was found later in 1.5 metres of water. Police stated that it was possible the pair were engaging in lovemaking that could have gone wrong. Their clothes and other belongings were reportedly found at the castle.
Why is it that idiots think that having sex in strange and dangerous places is such a thrill? For instance, why would anybody want to have sex in the tiny toilet of an airliner, just so they can brag that they were in the Mile High Club? But this particular French couple joined the eminent ranks of Darwin Awards recipients, presumably because they did not get to see the fruits of their lovemaking before they killed themselves by their own stupidity.
In the US state of Texas, a Dallas man accidentally killed himself while firing his gun in celebration at his 21st birthday party. Police said that Joseph Perez was celebrating when he grabbed a gun and began shooting. His family took the gun from him, but Perez later retrieved it and accidentally shot himself. Police spokeswoman Melinda Gutierrez said that alcohol is believed to have been a factor in the shooting.So here is yet another Darwin Award candidate who did not know how to enjoy his 21st birthday party by just having a good time. This cretin just had to grab a gun and start shooting it. His family took the gun from him, but Mr Stupid grabbed it again, but this time he dispatched himself from this existence. All anybody could really say is Good Riddance and yet again, the collective IQ of the world will have increased by this moron's departure.
American idiot Devon Staples and his friends had been drinking and setting off fireworks in the backyard of a friend’s home in the small eastern Maine city of Calais to celebrate American Independence Day. Staples placed a fireworks mortar tube on his head and set it off. The firework exploded, killing Staples instantly.
Hopefully this moron had not managed to pass on his STUPID gene to any offspring, so he would be a prime candidate for the Darwin Awards. Even a complete imbecile would realise that all fireworks are dangerous, but Staples was even more stupid than that. So by his departure from life, Staples has increased the collective IQ of the world. Good riddance.
In Romania, a selfie-obsessed teen was electrocuted by a live wire after climbing on top of a train in pursuit of the ultimate self-portrait. Anna Ursu, 18, had gone to the train station with a friend in Iasi in northeast Romania to take the "selfie" and post it on Facebook. But as she sat on top of the train and stuck her leg in the air, she erupted into flames when overhead cables sent 27,000 volts zapping through her body. The girl’s friend, who was on top of the train with her at the time, was sent flying by the force of the blast.
A passer-by who saw the horrific accident unfold risked his own life by scrambling on top of the carriage to put out the girl’s burning clothes before phoning the emergency services. He said that he had been going for a walk when he spotted the girls playing on top of the carriage. He called out to them to keep their heads and legs down and then heard a loud bang as the girl turned into a human fireball.
Both teens were taken to hospital but the 18-year-old, who had burns to over 50% of her body later died. Although the girl hadn’t touched the wire, she had touched the electrical field which was just as deadly. The girl who survived said that her friend had wanted to get the "ultimate selfie" and that they had not even considered the danger.
The word "ultimate" means "being or happening at the end of a process; final." Yes, this idiotic Romanian girl certainly took her final selfie before turning herself into a human fireball. Even a complete imbecile knows that there is lethal voltage going through the power rail above an electric train, so going anywhere near the roof of such a train is dicing with death.
This sort of death by electrocution on train roofs happens far too often, but fortunately mostly to people who are so stupid that they do us all a favour by removing themselves from the gene pool and thus not passing their stupidity onto any offspring.
A woman in the US state of Nebraska has filed court documents to sue every homosexual person on the planet. Sylvia Ann Driskell, 66, calls herself the "ambassador" for plaintiffs "God and His Son, Jesus Christ," is suing all homosexuals on Earth for breaking "religious and moral laws," according to a bizarre 14-page handwritten complaint she that filed.
Driskell, who is representing herself in the case of Driskell v Homosexuals, wants a judge to decide if homosexuality is a sin or not. Her central argument is "that homosexuality is a sin and that they the homosexuals know it is a sin to live a life of homosexuality. Why else would they have been hiding in the closet?" Driskell stated, "I'm sixty-six-years-old and I never thought that I would see the day in which our great nation or our great state of Nebraska would become so compliant to the complicity of some people's lewd behaviour." The court noted that regarding the defendants, no summons was issued.
This moronic woman claims that she is representing the plaintiffs God and Jesus Christ, but of course she cannot prove that the plaintiff God exists, nor can she produce the dead Jesus, if he actually did exist, because he would have been dead for the past 2000 years. So she has no case whatsoever, but all this proves is that she is a raving idiot and the court that accepted the filing is also a pack of idiots. The court should have taken one look at the filing and told Driskell to piss off.
When Australian vocalist Guy Sebastian saw the news that Bali Nine narcotics smuggling ringleaders Myuran Sukamaran and Andrew Chan had been executed in Indonesia, he wrote a tribute song for them and posted it to YouTube. "“My mistake was to call it a tribute," he said after he experienced the onslaught of negativity that he received from those who found it in bad taste. "I wasn't necessarily paying tribute to them and what they did as human beings. I did it for the family."
Nice excuse Guy, but it won't wash. Sebastian isn't the only misguided fool who eulogised these two narcotics traffickers. The Australian government spent millions of dollars trying to convince the Indonesians to spare their lives and left-wing tree-huggers held vigils for these two bastards. They seemed to forget that Chan previously ran a drug smuggling operation from Hong Kong in which people had been caught and imprisoned for long terms. So he was no angel and neither was Sukamaran.
The bottom line is that the Indonesians did Australia a favour by executing Sukamaran and Chan. They were not rehabilitated at all - the only reason that they claimed to have turned their lives around was because they were caught, convicted and sentenced to death. Nobody in their right mind could assume that they would have stopped their despicable narcotics smuggling and their effect on the lives of drug addicts if they had not been caught. At least the Indonesians nor the Australians have to pay for their upkeep in prison.
But as for Guy Sebastian, he has proven to the world that he was about as stupid as he could get by writing a tribute to narcotics traffickers. Maybe if he continues on this path, he could write musical tributes to serial killer Ivan Milat and to the brutal murderers of Sydney nurse Anita Cobby, John Travers, Michael Murdoch and Michael, Gary and Les Murdoch. They would be thrilled if Sebastian penned a nice song extolling them and the virtues of their crimes. But maybe Sebastian has realised how dumb he was with his ode to the Bali Nine bastards.
In May 2015, the Australian Catholic University announced scholarships in honour of executed serial drug smugglers Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran. The university announced that it would recognise the two men by introducing scholarships in their memory.
The Vice Chancellor, Professor Greg Craven, released a statement explaining the reasoning for the university's decision. "We did this because ACU is committed to the dignity of the human person, and that applies equally to all human beings: victims as well as to those who have been convicted of crimes," the statement said. "As a Catholic university committed to promoting a culture of life, we stand opposed to the death penalty."
One can only imagine the deranged mental processes of somebody who desires to sanctify two serial criminals whose drugs destroyed the lives of many Australians and probably led to the deaths of a number of them. Professor Craven seems to be typical of the sort of academic who is completely removed from the real world.
The death penalty has a purpose. Firstly, it eradicates those who have forfeited their lives because of their despicable activity. Secondly, it saves taxpayers the money to house, feed and pay for medical, dental and other expenses for these criminals, money that could be used to help needy and deserving people. Thirdly, it sends a message to people that this is what awaits them if they commit such serious crimes.
It is unfortunate that academics such as Professor Craven seem to live in the airy-fairy world of academe, where they don't see the consequences of the acts of scum like Chan and Sukamaran and Chan. One can only imagine that Craven's next effort could be to to canonise Ivan Milat for services to backpackers.
A shepherd was found dead after having sex with a scarecrow on which he had put a wig and lipstick. Neighbours led police to the Argentinian man's body after they rang the local council about a foul smell coming from Jose Alberto's home in San Jose de Balcare. Police later found Alberto, 58, whose rotting remains were found next to the scarecrow. The scarecrow also had a strap-on sex toy attached to it.
"During a first visual inspection, it appeared that there were two dead bodies. Then it was found that actually one of the bodies was a doll with special features," prosecutor Rodolfo Moure stated. "It was lying next to the deceased and had a six-inch strap-on penis."
Moure said that there were no signs of violence or a robbery at the scene of the man’s death. "We are working on the assumption that the man died during sex with the scarecrow," Moure said. "Straw had been stuffed inside the old clothes that had been sewn together to make the scarecrow. We are now waiting the results of an autopsy." It is understood the man lived alone and didn’t have a mobile phone.
This is not so much a story of a stupid person, but a rather sad situation where a lonely man had little or no opportunity for normal sexual relations and had to improvise with the materials at hand. However this shepherd still managed to procure a strap-on penis for his straw partner, although one would have thought that he would have preferred a strap-on vagina. Maybe the scarecrow was a homosexual.
Swedish MPs have backed a ban on unlicensed dancing in public or "illegally moving your feet to music". Bar, restaurant and nightclub owners without permits can be fined if customers "dance spontaneously and without permission" as a result of a vote in the nation's parliament. Police say dancing can cause fighting and disorder.
The Swedes have already facilitated the invasion and subjugation of their nation by Muslims, but this proposed ban on unlicensed dancing has to really demonstrate how utterly idiotic and out of touch they are. Their claim that dancing can cause fighting and disorder is ludicrous beyond belief and it is apparent that these politicians have completely lost the plot. Yet their sanity has not been questioned and they are still permitted to make the laws, more's the pity.
American idiot Christopher Wallace was arrested when he couldn’t help but gloat on social media outlet Snapchat. He was wanted on burglary charges after stealing propane and wood stoves from a Pierce Pond Township in Maine. Wallace posted on Snapchat that he was back in his home town, despite the fact that the police department had made it clear they were looking for him. Acting on the information, police went to the man’s house where they were once again assisted by their suspect’s Snapchat proclivities.
The sheriff’s office said that he posted a Snapchat message saying police were in the house looking for him and he was hiding in a cabinet. The post immediately prompted calls to the police department who notified the officers carrying out the search.
After making the arrest, the police department decided to add insult to injury and took to their own social media to post a long account of Wallace’s cocky behaviour. "A search of the kitchen cabinets turned up some food, some pots and pans and also a pair of feet," the Facebook post said. "The pair of feet just so happened to be attached to a person and that person was Christopher Wallace. He was removed from the cabinet and placed under arrest."
This dickhead (literally speaking) has to be the epitome of complete imbecility. Nobody on earth would ever employ this idiot, so he will be a burden on whatever society is unfortunate to be inflicted by him.
What an idiot. Unless he can get that tattoo removed, he's not going to be able to enter restaurants, go to clubs or most other places. By his stupidity, he has sentenced himself to a life of complete ostracism.
A Texan woman was cleaning in her kitchen when she noticed that a snake had found its way inside. She thought, "Hey, I'll fix that pesky snake, I'll set it on fire." However, her stupidity caused her entire house to burn to the ground. The snake probably escaped unharmed.
A couple who were high on drugs spent two days believing they were trapped inside a janitor's closet only to discover when the cops arrived that the closet had been open the whole time. Amber Campbell, 25 and John Arwood, 31 called police after breaking into the Marine and Environmental Science Centre at Daytona State College, Florida. They told police that they were trapped inside the closet.
When police arrived, a foul smell led them to the pair. They found human excrement and paraphernalia for smoking methamphetamine and crack cocaine inside the closet. When a police officer checked the closet door, he realised it had been open the whole time. The couple were freed and then immediately arrested for trespass.
Even a complete imbecile would have tried to open the door to see if it was locked or not. Obviously these two were more stupid than an imbecile, because they sat in that unlocked closet and they pissed and shit in there and lived among the piss and shit for a couple of days before they were discovered. How these idiots managed to live to their present ages without killing themselves beggars belief.
Pope Francis has delivered good news for dog lovers everywhere that dogs are welcome in the kingdom of God. During his weekly address in the Vatican on 10 December 2014, the pope was consoling a little boy whose dog had recently died and assured the boy that he would see his beloved canine again in heaven. "One day, we will see our animals again in the eternity of Christ. Paradise is open to all of God’s creatures," he said.
Pope Francis's words were welcomed by animal groups such as the Humane Society. However the statements contradict the conservative Catholic belief that animals do not have souls and therefore can’t go to heaven. Pope Francis has often expressed more liberal views than his predecessors, saying it is not up to him or others to judge the gay community, supporting evolution and the Big Bang Theory and inviting punk rock icons to perform at the Vatican.
How the hell can this pointy-hatted clown make pronouncements that animals such as dogs go to heaven? There has never been one shred of proof that there is such a thing as heaven, an afterlife or a god. But that is how people like the pope and all other religious leaders and clerics scam and rip off their gullible victims, with superstitious nonsense without any basis in fact. This scam supports these people in very comfortable circumstances for doing nothing more than delivering bullshit to idiots who swallow it without question. The pope is either a crook who knows what he is doing by spreading this garbage and living off the proceeds, or if he believes it, he's a deluded fool.
In early December 2014, a tourist trying to get a better view of Sydney Heads fell to his death in front of horrified friends. He climbed a safety fence and walked to the edge of the cliff at North Head near Manly. He was with a group of four people who saw him fall more than 90m to his death. "It looks like a tragic accident at this stage," said a police spokesman. The NSW Police Rescue Squad undertook the retrieval operation.
The death follows a similar incident in the Blue Mountains west of Sydney in November 2014, where a woman fell to her death from a lookout after scaling the fence. Victorian woman Ella Calvayrac was found in tree 40 metres below a Blackheath lookout. The 22-year-old was meditating with three French friends, who had been chanting together, before she climbed the fence and lost her balance.
Local and state authorities build safety fences at dangerous locations at great expense to try and prevent people from killing themselves. However, no amount of effort will stop idiots from committing suicide by stupidity. Police spokesmen tend to say that these incidents were tragic accidents, but imbeciles scaling safety fences at dangerous locations are not suffering any sort of accidents. They commit these acts deliberately and suffer the consequences of their stupidity and thankfully remove themselves from the gene pool and thus improve the collective IQ of the world's population.
In the USA, Ohio police confirmed that an 18-year-old man died in early December 2014 after he had been playing Russian roulette. Rashaun McCrae died of a gunshot wound to the head, but detectives only confirmed the cause after several days of matching statements from witnesses. One 18-year-old man told police that McCrae had invited him to play the deadly game, which was made famous by the 1978 film The Deer Hunter starring Robert De Niro and Christopher Walken.
Another of McCrae’s friends, a 23-year-old woman, told police she and another friend saw him playing with a revolver. "He showed them it was loaded with one round and spun the cylinder three times," the police report stated. "He said something to the effect of, 'Have you ever played Russian roulette?', held the revolver to his head and fired."
Thankfully, this cretin managed to kill himself before he managed to pass on his Stupid Gene to any offspring. One would think that playing with firearms is already dangerous without taking stupid risks such as playing Russian Roulette. The odds are not very good, as McCrae found out in the microsecond between the time that his revolver's hammer fell on the cartridge and when his brains splattered all over the floor. All one can say is - good riddance to another idiot.
Brazilian airline TAM changed one of its flight numbers after a renowned clairvoyant predicted a plane bearing the original number would crash shortly after takeoff. Jucelino Nobrega da Luz, who says that he predicted the deaths of Princess Diana and Brazilian racing legend Ayrton Senna, told authorities that Flight JJ3720, set to depart on Wednesday 26 November 2014 from Sao Paulo to Brasilia, would develop engine trouble and crash on Sao Paulo’s main Paulista drag.
Leaving nothing to chance, TAM changed the flight code to JJ4732 after receiving what it termed "indispensable information", telling AFP passenger that security was paramount at all times. Media quoted Nobrega da Luz as saying that he had most recently predicted the August 2014 death in a plane crash of presidential candidate Eduardo Campos. But he was notably off-beam on the outcome of Brazil’s 2006 presidential elections and also on a vaccine for AIDS being discovered in 2008.
Firstly, nobody has clairvoyant or psychic powers. Like religion, it's a fantasy. So far, not one so-called clairvoyant has managed to predict anything with any more chance than a lucky guess. For over 30 years, famous psychic debunker James Randi has been challenging people with US$1 million for anybody who could who claim to have paranormal powers and prove it. So far, nobody has even come close and all the allegedly "famous" psychics and clairvoyants run and hide whenever Randi shows up.
Fraudsters such as Jucelino Nobrega da Luz always seem to make their correct predictions about events after they happen, but they have a dismal record of failure in regard to predicting events correctly before they occur. However, the most stupid people in this airline crash prediction are the airline executives who gave Nobrega da Luz the benefit of the doubt, instead of telling him to shove his stupid and unfounded prediction where the sun don't shine.
Of course nothing happened to TAM Flight JJ3720. It can be imagined that Nobrega da Luz will claim that this was due to the airline changing the flight number. The airline will also take credit from averting a crash that was not going to happen anyway and the gullible people of Brazil will pour more money into that fraudster Nobrega da Luz's bank account. There are no bounds to human stupidity and gullibility and this is just another instance of stupid people paying attention to other stupid people.
Australian teenager Nicole Bicknell died after consuming shots of the Polish beverage Polmos Spirytus Rektyfikowany at her 18th birthday party in Perth. Her family believe the spirit, which contains 95% alcohol, led to her death. They are calling for a ban on the sale of high-strength alcohol in Australia. Health officials raised questions over why the spirit did not have a warning label. Bicknell had only had a few mixed drinks before being offered the spirit by a male friend.
Bicknell's family members are advocating for a complete ban of the sale of high strength alcohol in Australia. "I cannot see why alcohol so strong is sold in liquor stores," grandfather Kevin McLean stated. "No one needs to buy alcohol that strong. It should be taken off the shelves so this doesn't happen to any other family. We want it banned Australia-wide and we would like to see it an offence to sell it."
Here is another case of complete and utter stupidity by a teenager who simply could not enjoy her own birthday party without trying to get wasted on alcohol and she paid the ultimate price. It is hard to understand why people even need to get drunk in the first place. What's wrong with being stone-cold sober and enjoying parties and other events? Why do people seem to require that their brains be scrambled by alcohol or narcotics in order for them to have a good time?
Nicole Bicknell was an idiot and she literally committed suicide by alcohol. She is only a victim of her own stupidity and although one has to feel sorry for her family, Bicknell is yet another Darwin Award recipient whose "stupid" genes will not be transmitted to any offspring. It is dishonest to paint Bicknell as a tragic teenager, because she knew exactly what she was doing when she consumed that alcohol. She wanted to get wasted and she succeeded in doing so permanently.
Whether we wax, shave, or grow it, pubic hair and what we should do with it has long been a hot topic for discussion. From ripping it all out, to only waxing below, some woman are now preferring a fuller look. Surprisingly, mannequins were even seen sprouting pubic hair after American Apparel - claiming to "honour women in all their ungroomed glory" - stuffed their figure's panties with merkins.
Though, it may have taken us a while to get back to the bush, according to Refinery 29, Korean women see pubic hair as a sign of "sexual health and fertility" and are going to great lengths to grow it. A lack of hair "down there" is known as pubic atrichosis. As a result women are seeking hair restoration surgery to address the not-so-hairy issue. While Korean men believe that it is unlucky to have sexual intercourse with a woman without pubic hair, this isn't the main cause for women to care about their pubic hair.
A 2006 study, examined cases of pubic hair restoration surgery and found the main reason women undergo the procedure was not because of men. Instead, they felt pressure from other women. But the pressure other women put on each other to look a certain way doesn't just apply to women in Korea. A 2012 British study found that women spend more time checking out other women than men.
Dr Caroline Walters, a body image and women's sexuality specialist, state that it's not just other women's clothes we're checking out, either. "It's practically every aspect of another woman's appearance, from hairstyle to tan, shape, size, even body hair and fat distribution."
Asians seem to have some very strange ways and beliefs. Some years ago, it was reported that many Japanese people were having their palm's "life-line" extended, in order to ensure that they lived long lives. Of course doing this stupid procedure has absolutely no bearing on a lifespan, but there were plenty of Japanese idiots who believed that this actually worked, which merely proved to the world how completely dumb they were.
Japanese women apparently become embarrassed at the sound of their own farts, so many Japanese toilets are equipped with music facilities to cover up the offensive sounds. Presumably the Koreans might feel the same, considering that some of them would go to the ridiculous extent of having their pubes augmented with hair from their heads. There seems to be no bounds to human stupidity and this is yet another example.
You don’t need to be a Rhodes Scholar to know that dinosaurs became extinct about 66 million years ago. Yet a high school student’s statement that he shot dead his neighbour’s pet dinosaur saw police officers called to the school.
Alex Stone, a 16-year-old student at Summerville High School in the town of Summerville in South Carolina USA, said that his class was asked to write a few sentences about themselves and to list a "status: as if they were filling in their Facebook page. The teen wrote, "I killed my neighbour’s pet dinosaur." In the status section, he said he wrote, "I bought the gun to take care of the business."
That prompted the school to call in Summerville Police Department. Stone was arrested and later charged with disorderly conduct after he argued with officers, who searched fruitlessly for a gun in his school bag and locker. He was also been suspended from school.
Stone’s mother, Karen Gray, is angry that she was not called before the police. "I could understand if they made him rewrite it because he did have 'gun' in it," she said. "But I mean first of all we don't have dinosaurs anymore. Second of all, he's not even old enough to buy a gun."
Stone said he meant no harm and is surprised his words could be construed that way. "I regret it because they put it on my record, but I don't see the harm in it," he said. "I think there might have been a better way of putting it, but I think me writing like that, it shouldn't matter unless I put it out towards a person."
Here is another case of collective stupidity by adults and a demonstration of maturity by the kid who was their victim. Firstly, there is nothing wrong with writing about guns. These firearms are used in a number of Olympic sports and are completely legal and guaranteed by the Bill Of Rights in the USA. So nobody should have raised the issue of Alex Stone writing about guns in the first place.
But the abject and monumental stupidity of Stone's school and the Summerville cops is hard to understand. The teacher who read Stone's story must have been a complete ignoramus to construe his fiction about dinosaurs to be some sort of menace. They obviously must have suffered under the delusion that Stone's neighbour actually had a pet dinosaur and that he shot it, therefore he was a existential menace to everybody around him.
We all know that the general American population is stupid and ignorant. Most of them believe and worship imaginary beings, which means automatically that they are delusional. But for a school and a police force to create such a stink and suspend a student for writing about killing a dinosaur would make any sane person wonder why these idiots are not locked away in a rubber room somewhere. When people say "Only in America", this is a good example of what they mean. Idiots abound.
A viral video of an 18-year-old Irish girl being cheered on by a drunken crowd as she gave oral sex to 24 men on a nightclub’s dancefloor provoked shock on the Internet. It also lifted the lid on the seedy party scene in the resort town of Magaluf on the Spanish island of Mallorca, where the video was shot. A number of bars in Mallorca have been caught encouraging young women to perform sex acts in return for prizes in a new game called "mamading", which is Spanish for performing a sex act.
The girl’s family, who are born-again Christians and live in County Armagh in Northern Ireland, has forgiven her. A family friend told the paper: "She is a lovely girl but she's been looking for excitement. She made a terrible mistake a few weeks ago and she has been fully forgiven. Everyone is devastated. She has been a victim, a target of evil, of wickedness and she has most definitely been led astray." The girl was told that she would win a holiday for performing the blowjobs but the "prize" later turned out to be a five euro drink of cava.
This girl was well and truly old enough to realise what she was doing. Giving blowjobs to 24 men on a dance floor was not being led astray. This idiot knew exactly what she was doing and she is no victim, but just a cheap slut. One can only feel sorry for this tart's parents, who have to now live with her image all over the Internet for the rest of her life. She is going to discover that this idiotic act will follow her to every job for which she applies and she will be lucky to get one. Maybe a brothel will take her on.
In June 2014, a man died from being electrocuted after climbing on top of a train at Balaclava train station in Melbourne. The man, believed to be in his 20s, had not been identified and police were still determining the exact cause of his death. Apparently the man climbed on to the roof of an outbound train as it approached the station. Authorities retrieved the man's body after the power was switched off.
Shocked witnesses said that they saw the man remove his clothing before jumping onto the train. Commuters arriving at the station were met with police, ambulance and fire vehicles and directed to trams running along Carlisle Street. The Sandringham train line service was suspended between South Yarra and Sandringham.
Only a complete moron would climb on top of an electric train at any time. The voltage and current running through the pantograph and power line delivering electricity to the train engine is enormous and touching them guarantees an instant and very painful death. There is a famous video clip that shows an idiot on top of a train in India, who unthinkingly reached up and grabbed the overhead power line. He immediately caught on fire and literally turned to charcoal. This fool in Melbourne would have suffered the same fate and is an excellent candidate for a Darwin Award.
In June 2014, 17-year-old Jack Irving died in front of his younger brother after leaning out of a moving train in Melbourne’s southeast. He was on the Frankston-bound train with his brother and a girl. The group broke into the rear driver’s cabin in order to vandalise the carriage and Irving leaned out to film himself while the train was moving. Irving fell when he was struck by a signalling sign 200 metres from Malvern station.
Victoria Police Acting Sergeant Andrew Kiss described it as a tragic accident that would affect his family and friends. "It appears he may have been hanging on the side of the train or from the train when his head hit the signage," he said. Paramedics treated the teenager on the rail line for upper body and leg injuries. He was taken to the Alfred hospital in a critical condition but died shortly afterwards. No one else was injured.
Rail Tram and Bus Union Victorian secretary Luba Grigorovitch said that the doors to the drivers' carriages are tightly sealed and would have been difficult to pry open. She stated, "This type of behaviour is reckless and dangerous and people need to understand that if they choose to behave this way, there will be serious consequences." Grigorovitch said that the union would use the tragic event to call on the state government to launch an education campaign for travelling in public. "We called on the state government to initiate this campaign before and got no response. At the end of the day, it's their responsibility to make the public understand the risks associated with foolish behaviour."
This incident shows the idiotic political correctness of people like Luba Grigorovich. Why the hell should it be the government's responsibility to nursemaid a 17-year-old dickhead who was stupid enough to illegally break into a sealed compartment on a train with his friends and then stick his head out of the train? Every person knows that this is dangerous and they should never do such stupid things, but why should the government be held responsible for making the public understand the risks of foolish behaviour?
What does Grigorevich expect the government to do? Mandate that there be warning signs on everything? DANGER - this knife could cut you. DANGER - Farting through these trousers near an open flame may cause your arse to catch on fire. DANGER - Do not stand on this toilet seat to take a dump or you may fall into the bowl. DANGER - This iron will become very hot when ironing your clothes. DANGER - Do not use this thermometer orally after using it rectally. It goes on and on.
This whole issue comes down to personal responsibility and the fact that everybody is responsible for their own actions and the consequences of them. People are far too quick to call these imbecilic acts tragic accidents, which they are not. They are deliberately performed stunts by idiots who should know better. If Jack Irvine had been a responsible teenager and just rode on the train to get to his destination, he would be alive today.
Irving chose to commit an illegal act by breaking into the driver's compartment of the train. He chose to hang out of the train, knowing that it was a dangerous thing to do. Irving paid for his stupidity with his life and it's nobody else's fault, especially the government's that Irving is dead. At least this Darwin Award candidate will not be able to pass on his Stupid gene to any offspring.
In the outer Sydney suburb of Campbelltown, a man was duped into making multiple cash withdrawals and handing the money over to two conmen in the belief he was going to win the lottery. One of the men approached a 65-year-old in a car park, claiming that he had a winning lottery ticket that he could not claim because he had no identification with him. He then approached a second man in the car park and told him the same story.
The second man made a phone call, then claimed he had just confirmed the winning ticket with a lottery agency. The second man then offered to buy the ticket from the first and split the takings with the 65-year-old. The 65-year-old agreed and was driven to four different banks where he made large withdrawals and handed over the cash to the men. The conmen gave him the ticket and asked him to pick up some medication from a chemist. When he returned, they had disappeared with his cash. The 65-year-old took the lottery ticket to a newsagent, but was told it was not a winning ticket.
How utterly moronic was this 65-year-old sucker? All he had to do was to walk into the nearest newsagency and check the lottery ticket to verify that it had won a prize. Anybody who has bought a lottery ticket would know that identification is not required to redeem a prize. But this fool blindly believed in the utter bullshit that these two conmen spun without checking one single aspect of it before he made multiple money withdrawals and handed the cash to them before they vanished, leaving him with a worthless lottery ticket as a souvenir. This stupid guy deserved to lose his money as a penalty for sheer stupidity.
Carissa Grice, who wanted to stay in touch with friends on Facebook while on holiday was shocked to receive a bill for over $5000. She used a mobile phone registered in her mother's name while they were on a two-week break together in Antalya, Turkey. The 18-year-old, from Greater Manchester, ran up the bill after downloading 630MB of data while chatting to her friends on Facebook, Twitter and WhatsApp.
She said she believed that she was using the hotel’s Wi-Fi, but was actually being charged $14 per MB by service provider Orange as her data roaming was switched on. The trainee nail technician added, "When I got the bill I was in complete shock - I couldn’t speak." Her father Rob said, "She was devastated. I told her she was going to have to pay because we couldn't afford to." Orange said it had sent text messages to point out how much data was being used. It has since slashed the bill to around $450.
After all the news reports about the massive cost of global roaming, one weuld think that people would be aware of this and switched off cellular data the second they left their home nation. Obviously this dummy did not have the brains to check the settings on her phone and ensure that she was not using data coming from her phone provider. Literally every mobile phone has indicators on the edge of the screen to show what services are being used, but Carissa Grice must have ignored them all.
A nail technician is not exactly in the same ballpark as a rocket scientist in terms of brainpower, but all one can say about Carissa Grice is that she should thank her lucky stars that Orange reduced her bill to $450, which is probably more than what the data was worth. However, Orange should have demanded the full $5000 and taught this silly fool a lesson that she would never forget. Sometimes such a lesson is a good life experience.
A US man impersonating a police officer was arrested after signalling a real detective to pull over on a road in Florida. Matthew Michael Lee McMahon activated a red and blue light while driving behind an unmarked sheriff's car. Detective Chance Anderson pulled over and was shocked to see an unknown face behind the wheel of the other car. During his more than 10 years of service the detective has arrested several police impersonators, but none had ever ordered him to stop his car. McMahon was charged with impersonating an officer and unlawfully displaying blue lights.
There are always idiots who set out to impersonate cops and pull motorists over, but most of them like this idiot McMahon, get caught by real cops. Some people seem to have some sort of weird fascination for police, yet they do not try to actually become police officers. Then there are those miserable fools who fail to become real cops and then masquerade as cops, buying uniforms, badges and other police trappings. It is fortunate that these clowns don't ever become real policemen and really go on their power trips/
A fraudulent faith healer who convinced victims she was a shaman and conned them out of almost 1 million pounds ($1.7 million) was sentenced to 10 years in jail. A British jury convicted London-based Juliette D'Souza of ripping off clients who went to her for help with problems ranging from illness to job worries. D'Souza convinced them to hand over money, saying it was a "sacrifice" that would be hung off a sacred tree in the Amazon rainforest as a spiritual offering before being returned. In fact the money was never sent or returned, but used to buy designer handbags, luxury holidays and antique furniture.
At London’s Blackfriars Crown Court, Judge Ian Karsten said that 59-year-old D'Souza had wrecked the lives of her victims out of pure greed. He said that the fraudster subjugated her victims until they became entirely dependent on her. In one case, she told a woman to pay 18,000 pounds or her partner would die. "To reinforce their dependence on you, you initially saw to it that they were cut off from their friends and family," the judge said. "You warned them about the evil temperament of the people to whom they were close." He gave D’Souza the maximum sentence possible for her crimes.
Sylvia Eaves, a retired opera singer who was duped out of more than 350,000 pounds, said outside court that she was relieved that D'Souza would not target anyone else. "She relieved me of a lot of money, but I'm still here," Eaves said.
What kind of gullible imbeciles are there in the world who fall for this sort of blatantly transparent scam? That's a silly question, because there is an endless number of fools who are suckered into all those Internet scams and who consult phoney clairvoyants and psychics and who actually believe those bullshit astrology predictions in newspapers. The more stupid one imagines people to be, the more one finds out that they are more stupid than that.
This retired opera singer Silvia Eaves must not have half a brain, because she was conned out of around $630,000 by swallowing ridiculous crap from this bogus faith healer who probably couldn't a headache without aspirin. How can anybody feel sorry for idiota who go to faith healers, when not a single one of them can prove that they can do what they claim? It seems that the world is full of morons who are just there to be preyed upon by scammers.
In Queensland, a criminal’s costly mistake made him an easy target for Wynnum police officers. The moron left his phone sitting in plain sight at a property he allegedly broke into. The 17-year-old Manly West man was subsequently charged with numerous property and drug offences following a number of alleged break-and-enters, when two cars were taken from a local home.
The accused left his phone at one of the properties and when police found it, they executed a search warrant at his address and the man was arrested. He was charged with burglary, unlawful entry of a vehicle, trespassing and drug offences after utensils were found at his address during the search.
How dumb are these criminals who do this? This idiot might as well have written his name, address and phone number on the wall of the crime scene. The police would love every thief to leave a calling card with his personal details on it. Judging by this incident and the one where the British thief left his mobile phone at the jewellery store where he staged a heist, detective work will be made much easier if crooks just leave their business cards or even better, walk into police stations and confess to their crimes.
British police say they know who stole two diamond rings and a wedding band from a Kingston shop. The thief left his mobile phone behind, with a photo of himself as the screensaver. Germain Ibrahim Fofana of France is also believed to be responsible for other jewel heists in the London area. Fofana and a woman entered the shop with a child in a baby buggy and looked at engagement rings. Folana returned alone 30 minutes later and looked at the rings again, before he ran off with them, leaving his mobile phone behind. The rings were valued at $A32,800.
This almost sounds like a joke, but it is true. Folana may as well have told the jewellery store owner his name and address as he was stealing the rings. He may have got away with previous jewel robberies in the same fashion, but he is certainly going to spend some time trying to keep his own ring from being violated in the prison shower.
Zeman Elementary School in Nebraska USA issued a flyer about bullying that contained the most preposterously stupid and dangerous ideas imaginable. It seems like the school administrators prefer bullied students to not take any action to defend themselves, but to consider that they deserve the thuggery that bullies inflict upon them. Here are the items on this flyer.
This has to be about the most dangerous document ever produced for schoolkids and in fact for anybody. It advises victims to not only accept the beatings, humiliation, insults and antagonism that bullies inflict on them, let alone physical injuries, but to treat their tormentors as their friends and believe that they deserve this treatment. Any parent receiving such a document should demand the immediate dismissal of the author, because it is obvious that this person is completely irrational and insane to come up with this utter crap.
There is only one way to treat bullies and that is to completely resist their thuggery. All children should be taught not only to defend themselves, but to inflict some real hurt onto anybody who attacks them for no reason. The best defence is offence and bullies will be deterred by feeling some real pain from their intended victims. People should never ever treat aggressors as their friends.
In April 2014, a nine-month-old infant boy in Pakistan was accused of attempted murder. Baby Mohammad Musa, along with his father and other family members was booked for throwing rocks at gas company officials. Inspector Kashif Mohammed, who attended the alleged crime scene and has since been suspended, wrote in his report that it was a case of attempted murder.
Appearing in a packed courtroom with others accused in the case, Musa was seen crying as his grandfather Muhammad Yasin held him on his shoulder. Yasin later fed him milk from a bottle while fielding questions from reporters. "Everyone in the court was saying 'How can such a small child be implicated in any case?' What kind of police do we have?" the 50-year-old labourer said.
How a cop can achieve the rank of Inspector in Pakistan and be so utterly moronic defies imagination. Charging a nine-month-old infant who cannot even walk with attempted murder merely shows that there are people out there who really need to be confined to a rubber room because of their abject stupidity. Imagine this cop dealing with real crime. Imagine how many people were executed because he charged them with capital crimes that they did not commit, especially in a Muslim nation where barbarity and injustice is the norm. They don't get much more stupid than Inspector Kashif Mohammed.
In the USA, Tennessee police officer James Randy Moss pulled over 21 year old Barbie Cummings for speeding. She begged Moss to not write her a ticket and said that she would make it worth his while because she was a porn star. Moss did not believe Cummings at first, so he took her to his patrol car, where he used the computer to go on the Internet and check. Sure enough, Cummings was indeed a porn star.
Cummings offered Officer Moss a "favour" which he accepted in the back seat of his patrol car. However, Moss decided to use his cellphone to take some photos and a video of Cummings. Being a complete moron, Moss then sent the pictures and video to Cummings and asked her to put them on her website, so that he could prove to his friends at work that he really had sex with a porn star in the back of his patrol car. Officer Moss is now ex-Officer Moss. He was also charged with a felony and carries the inglorious dishonour of being one of the stupidest cops of all time.
In South Australia, a middle-aged Mount Barker woman reported her stolen cannabis plant to police and was subsequently charged with cultivating the illegal drug. The woman, 46, went to the Mount Barker station to complain about the theft. Diligent police officers agreed to visit her home to "check on the security of her other plants" and found three illegal cannabis plants growing. They were promptly seized and the woman was reported for cultivating cannabis.
They don't get much more stupid than that. This woman must either have been smoking too much of her happy weed or she was as thick as a brick. The police love people like her, because there is literally nothing much they have to do to discover such crimes when they walk in the door of the police station. What a dope she is, in the literal sense.
On 19 March 2014, the jury in the trial of a British publicist accused of sexual assault had to be dismissed from the courtroom after they could not stop laughing about testimony concerning the defendant's two-and-a-half inch penis. Max Clifford, the defendant in the case, is a publicist accused of assaulting seven women, including a witness who testified that the 70-year-old assaulted her in the 1980s.
The woman said that when she was 17 and trying to break into the modelling world, Clifford took advantage of her, groping her, masturbating and possibly ejaculating on her before trying to pimp her out to American film producer Cubby Broccoli in exchange for a role in a James Bond film.
But according to court testimony, Clifford, who once claimed to have slept with Diana Ross, was so poorly endowed that even his victims made jokes about his size. The woman said in her evidence that she thought Clifford was well-endowed and his penis was very large. "I had only seen one before, I had never seen one in that proximity and that situation."
The court heard claims that his penis was tiny and no more than two-and-a-half inches when erect. When defence lawyer Richard Horwell QC asked her about the issue, the woman remarked, "I have a small mouth. I do, my dentist has always said."
The judge then had to dismiss the jury for a few minutes so they could compose themselves, saying, "It is inevitable in a case dealing with this sort of graphic detail that members of the jury want to burst out laughing."
In March 2014, it was reported that a dead Indian guru has been in a deep freezer in his ashram for nearly six weeks with followers confident he will return to life to lead them, his spokesman said. Devotees placed Ashutosh Maharaj, whom authorities declared clinically dead on 29 January 2014 in the freezer and have been watching over his body in the sprawling ashram in a small town in northern Punjab state. Maharaj, reportedly in his 70s, was one of India’s many gurus or god-men who headed the Divya Jyoti Jagrati Sansthan (Divine Light Awakening Mission) and claimed to have millions of followers around the world.
Mission spokesman Swami Vishalanand insisted that their leader was not dead but was in fact in a state of samadhi, the highest level of meditation and was therefore still conscious. Vishalanand said that followers were now waiting for him to end his meditation. Until then, the ashram in Nurmahal town would stay open, with followers performing their own mediations and spiritual sessions. "Mahara-ji (a Hindi term of respect) is still sending messages through followers in their meditative stage to protect his body till he returns," he stated.
Maharaj’s website, which says the mission was founded in 1983 and has spiritual centres around the world, has thanked its followers for standing by the mission while the guru undertakes his meditation. Vishalanand said that scores of spiritual leaders throughout history have travelled to the Himalayas for months of samadhi in freezing temperatures, before returning to life. Another spokesman, who heads a nearby village where many of Maharaj’s followers are living, has told local media that they will simply wait. "When we close our eyes, we can talk to the Maharaj, who has assured us he will come back," Lakhwinder Singh said.
These Indian dickheads are going to be waiting a hell of a long time for Maharaj to come back to life. But it just shows how gullible and stupid religious people can be, when they completely ignore hard physical facts and prefer to believe the most preposterous nonsense. The guy is dead and nothing will bring him back to life and that's a fact. Then there's that other fool Vishalanand, who claimed that scores of spiritual leaders throughout history have travelled to the Himalayas for months of samadhi in freezing temperatures, before returning to life. Of course the truth is that none of these spiritual leaders had died in the first place, but it makes a good story.
However, ignorant Indians are not the only ones who believe stupid shit. Have a look at what Christians believe. There was a married couple travelling around the countryside and they had a baby. Do Christians consider that the husband Joseph fucked his wife Mary and she gave birth to Jesus, just like any normal married couple would behave? Of course not. Christians completely discount a completely rational and plausible explanation for the birth of Jesus and believe the most ridiculous bullshit instead about a mythical Skydaddy violating a woman who was allegedly a virgin, although she was married. How utterly moronic are these people? The truth is that anybody who believes in religion or paranormal powers is a gullible dope.
Gemma Worrall created a global social media storm with her now infamous Barraco Barner tweet but now wishes that the world would just get over it. The 20-year-old beautician’s receptionist said what began as initial embarrassment and shock that her now deleted tweet went global has ended with cyber bullying and trolling. Worrall from Lancashire was a laughing stock on Twitter when she decided to delve into international politics and last week posted: “If barraco barner is our president, why is he getting involved with Russia, scary”.
Her post was quickly retweeted by her followers who then reposted it into the twittersphere and even though she deleted the tweet, she had no idea what would happen next. Not only was #BarracoBarner trending on Twitter UK, but she made headlines across the world and while it amused some and gained her a lot of followers, it also attracted a lot of trolls.
Worrall pleaded with Twitter to stop retweeting but the comments came in thick and fast. She has asked people to leave her alone and hit out at those who had been outrageously cruel, rude or vile. She tweeted that some people, even older users, had told her not to breed and strangers had called her a series of offensive names. Despite the new-found attention, more than a week later, Worrall is hoping that it will die down.
This bimbo chose to advertise her abject ignorance in one of the most public forums in the world and she should expect the reactions and comments from people who read her moronic tweet about Barraco Barner being the President of the USA. The best way to hide one's ignorance is to not put it out there for everybody to see, but Worrall did a fine job of advertising her lack of knowledge and lack of spelling of the name of one of the most prominent public figures in the world.
One of the ridiculous trends to emerge from the growing social media scene is one that Worrall complains about, that of trolling or cyberbullying. The truth is that nobody needs to put up with cyberbullying. If they receive an abusive email, they can either take action under existing laws, such as using a carriage service to threaten, or they can simply block the sender by creating a filter that will trash any email coming from that email address. It's all too easy.
The same goes for Facebook, Twitter and any other social media service. They all have facilities to block undesirable people, so anybody who gets an offensive message or tweet can simply put a block on the sender and never see another thing from them. But the problem is that fools refuse to block offensive people and wallow in their criticisms and then complain about cyberbullying and trolling.
The concept of trolling is beyond stupidity. If an ignoramus like Worrall publishes a piece of utterly stupid shit in public media with facilities for people to respond and gets adverse comments or ridicule from respondents, she calls them trolls. Not at all. These people are provided the means to make comment and just because the morons who publish stupid garbage and display their ignorance don't like the criticism or ridicule doesn't mean that these critics are doing something wrong. In fact the critics are doing all the right things by using social media to respond to publicly published idiocy. There's no such thing as trolling, however people who don't like comments from critics can block them and stop whining about being bullied when they all have the means to stop it instantly.
Wayne Bryson, 19, who filmed himself having sex with a Staffordshire bull terrier has avoided jail after being handed a suspended jail term. He was caught out when his girlfriend Amber Hickling found a graphic, 30-second clip of him fucking her beloved pet Rudi, as she was looking for photographs of their child on his mobile phone. Bryson admitted breaching the Sexual Offences Act by "performing an act of sexual penetration" on the dog on 17 January 2014. He was added to the sexual offenders register for seven years.
The case made headlines in Britain and Hickling has not been shy to talk about the incident. She said, "I'll never get over him cheating on me with my dog. While I was worrying about other women, I should have been worrying about my pets. He should be locked up. If it had been a person he would be, but because it’s a dog that couldn’t even defend itself, he's free."
Hickling stated, "When I looked at her, all I could see was what Wayne did. She wasn't the same dog. She was frightened and cowering. I couldn't stand to look at her so I found a family to re-home her with. I lost my dog and my boyfriend." There are plenty of males out there for Hickling to pick up and if she accepted Bryson as a boyfriend, she had no taste whatsoever. But giving away her dog just shows that Hickling didn't care much about this poor animal.
One really has to wonder exactly how bad Hickling was as a sexual partner if Bryson preferred fucking her dog. That's the humiliating part of this report and an aspect that nobody has mentioned. As for Bryson, it's not hard to believe that this cretin did this, as his photos in the media show a young bogan swilling beer out of a can and smoking a cigarette, with another cigarette stuck behind his ear. He obviously has the IQ of an old boot, so he would be stupid enough to fuck a dog. The best part is that he will never be able to live this down and it will plague him for the rest of his moronic life.
A preacher has told his followers to eat grass to cleanse themselves and be closer to God. The bizarre practice takes place at Rabboni Centre Ministries in Garankuwa, South Africa. Pastor Lesego Daniel shares his belief that consuming the Earth will bring followers closer to God and is a sign of religious devotion. Some members of the congregation have even claimed it has healed health defects, from a sore throat to a stroke.
His controversial practices have drawn outrage from many members of the South African community after photographs of people being sick in the aftermath were shared on social networks. Daniel, known as "the miracle man", tells his followers that humans can consume anything to feed their bodies and can survive on anything they eat. He also makes people sleep on demand and then asks members of the sect to trample on them and slap them.
One believer, 21-year-old Rosemary Phetha, credits Daniel with healing her after he "turned me into a sheep and instructed me to eat grass". She had a sore throat. Doreen Kgatle, a 27-year-old stroke victim, also credited the pastor with healing her. "I could not walk but soon after eating the grass, as the pastor had ordered, I started gaining strength and an hour later I could walk again," she said.
Of course this rubbish is typical brainwashing technique, to get people to do stupid and unusual things in order to make them feel guilty if they don't do them and thus be bound psychologically to the church or organisation that is exhorting them to do it. Devout Jews are instructed to have their heads covered. Why? What difference does that make to their beliefs or their devotion to their religion? Absolutely nothing, but it's just a psychological device to keep them entrapped and enslaved to that religion.
Devout Muslim men are ordered to grow beards and pray five times a day. Why? Does that change their belief in Allah and all the rest of the claptrap of Islam? Of course not, but they are indoctrinated to feel guilty if they don't grow some whiskers and stick their arses in the air every day and grovel to that mythical Skydaddy. Catholics are no different. They are forbidden to have sex until they are married, something that is the most natural thing for all creatures to perform. But for devout Catholics to have sex, they have to be married in the Catholic Church - in other words, the church controls the sexual practices of its followers and makes those who succumb to their natural instincts feel guilty and demand that they confess and expiate their "sins". Obviously the only way they can get relief from those "sins" is via the church, a very cosy arrangement that entraps stupid Catholics into that equally stupid religion.
So Pastor Lesego Daniel has latched onto this brainwashing scam and has got his followers to eat grass. The results are predictable. The girl with the sore throat would have got rid of it in due course without eating the grass, but being stupid and gullible, she believed that eating grass healed her. The same goes for the stroke victim, who probably would have recovered without eating the grass too. The big question is whether any followers of this Pastor Daniel ate grass and were not cured or they even died. In fact a number of people being sick after doing this were recounted on social networks. This just shows that there are plenty of stupid people out there who willingly allow themselves to be manipulated and controlled by phoneys like this Pastor Daniel.
Americans are enthusiastic about the promise of science but lack basic knowledge of it, with one in four unaware that the Earth revolves around the Sun, according to a poll. The survey included more than 2,200 people in the USA and was conducted by the National Science Foundation. Ten questions about physical and biological science were on the quiz and the average score, 6.5 correct, was barely a passing grade.
Just 74% of respondents knew that the Earth revolved around the Sun, according to the results released at the American Association for the Advancement of Science meeting in Chicago. Fewer than half (48%) knew that human beings evolved from earlier species of animals. The result of the survey, which is conducted every two years, will be included in a National Science Foundation report to President Barack Obama and US lawmakers.
For a nation that is at the forefront of science and technology, it is shameful that most Americans don't have much of a clue about these fields. A study was conducted by Vouchercloud.net, an American coupons website looking to see how well its users know their tech jargon and it found that one in five Americans think that a Blu-ray is a sea animal and one in ten think the coding language to build websites, HTML, is a type of sexually transmitted infection.
Nearly 50% thought that a motherboard was the deck of a cruise ship, not the main circuit board of a computer. Around 25% thought that the measurement unit "gigabyte" was an insect commonly found in South America. Nearly 25% believed that the audio format "MP3" was a Star Wars robot. It gets worse, because 15% of these American ignoramuses thought that "software" was what you call comfortable clothing. And 12% answered that USB is an acronym for a European country, not a computer connection port. However, 61% of those surveyed believed that having a good tech knowledge was extremely important.
Most people who have visited the USA will encounter such abject ignorance from most Americans. Talk show host Jay Leno often conducted a segment called "Jaywalking", where he would go out in the street and ask ordinary Americans questions that anybody with a modicum of general knowledge would answer correctly. But no, Americans posed simple questions by Leno had no idea. "Where is the Panama Canal?" he would ask. Or, "Where is the Great Wall Of China?" The hapless Americans whom he asked had no idea, even though the answers were in the questions.
Leno asked a female university graduate how many stars on the American flag and pointed at one flying from a flagpole. The reply? "The flag is flapping around in the wind and I can't count them." This moron, who was at a college degree presentation didn't even know that there were 50 stars, representing the 50 US states on her own country's flag. Then there was the girl who was asked, "Who was the first man on the Moon?" She said, "Armstrong." Leno asked, "What was his first name?" She replied, "Louis." Can you believe such ignorance?
Leno asked an American a number of simple questions that every American should know, such as who were the Founding Fathers? The reply was, "Founding fathers of WHAT?" Then Leno asked the same guy, "Who was the first president of the USA?" This idiot didn't have a clue. Even a Hottentot in the Kalahari Desert would know that George Washington was the first president of the USA, but many Americans don't have an idea about matter to do with their own nation, let alone the rest of the world.
Then there was the moron university graduate who was asked what was the opening line in the Bible. His reply? "A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away." This was followed by another university graduate who was asked, "What was the Gettysburg Address?" She replied, "I've heard of it, but I don't know the exact address." It is so hard to believe that American university graduates would not have any idea about one of the most famous speeches ever made, that by President Abraham Lincoln, a speech that should be engraved on the hearts of every American, but obviously is not.
One really has to wonder how a nation of abject ignoramuses and morons could achieve so much and become the most powerful country in the history of the world. Of course the answer is that there is a very tiny percentage of clever Americans and the rest of them are stupid dummies. When you hear the term "Stupid Americans", it's not an insult but a statement of fact.
A Pentecostal pastor and reality TV star, whose sermons involved handling deadly snakes, died at his Kentucky home from a bite. Pastor Jamie Coots starred on reality television show Snake Salvation, which airs in the USA on the National Geographic channel. Coots had already lost a finger to snake bite, allowing it to rot and turn black on his hand, exposing the bone before it eventually broke off. His wife Linda kept the blackened fingertip in a jar, telling Coots "I'll always have a piece of you wherever you go."
Coots was found dead in his home at about 10pm on 15 February 2014 after a snake bit him in his Middlesboro church, Full Gospel Tabernacle in Jesus Name. Coots went home before emergency workers arrived at the church. When officials went to his house to urge Coots to seek medical care, he refused. Coots died about an hour later.
It was an aspect of his faith to believe in God's protection from the harmful effects of snakebite; praying rather than seeking medical attention. He had said on air that if he ever sought medical attention from a snakebite, he would quit the church. Followers like the Coots family believe once they feel God’s anointment overtaking them, they are protected from venomous snakes.
For starters, Jamie Coots was a deluded idiot to believe in a god, so that immediately put him at risk, because deadly snakes don't believe in mythical beings and will eventually kill fools like this pastor. The fact that this dope refused medical attention for the snakebite and died proves yet again that his imaginary god friend didn't protect him from the serpent.
The funny thing is that many of these religious snake handlers die from snakebite, proving that their mythical gods don't save them from the venom, but their followers still believe this crap. Of course any of these religious nutters who believe the Virgin Mary story are gullible fools anyway. These morons would rather believe a ludicrous tale about a god who sexually impregnated a virgin, instead of considering the obvious that Mary was married at the time to Joseph and the couple consummated the marriage as all normal couples do.
But you can't cure "stupid" and Jamie Coots was not only stupid, but he was deluded into believing that a mythical being would keep him immune from a deadly snakebite. What's worse is that his followers will keep believing this garbage and excuse it by saying that this god wanted Coots in heaven and therefore made the snake bite him. This is the sort of cretinous mentality that religious nutters have.
A UK Independence Party (Ukip) councillor has blamed recent storms and floods on the British government's decision to legalise gay marriage. David Silvester, who defected from the Tories in protest at David Cameron's support for same-sex unions, claimed that he had warned the Prime Minister that the legislation would result in disasters. The councillor said that the country had been "beset by storms" since the passage of the new law on gay marriage because Cameron had acted "arrogantly against the Gospel".
In a letter to the Henley Standard he wrote: "The scriptures make it abundantly clear that a Christian nation that abandons its faith and acts contrary to the Gospel and in naked breach of a coronation oath will be beset by natural disasters such as storms, disease, pestilence and war. I wrote to David Cameron in April 2012 to warn him that disasters would accompany the passage of his same-sex marriage bill. But he went ahead despite a 600,000-signature petition by concerned Christians and more than half of his own parliamentary party saying that he should not do so."
Blaming the prime minister for the bad weather, he added: "It is his fault that large swathes of the nation have been afflicted by storms and floods. He has arrogantly acted against the Gospel that once made Britain great and the lesson surely to be learned is that no man or men, however powerful, can mess with Almighty God with impunity and get away with it for everything a nation does is weighed on the scaled of divine approval or disapproval."
One can understand how some very retarded and ignorant Muslim mullahs can make such pronouncements, like the cretin in Iran who blamed unchaste women for earthquakes, but it's very surprising to hear similar idiocies emanating from a British politician. All this means is that stupidity and ignorance is not confined to uneducated clowns in the Middle East and the common factor in all of this is religion. Of course those who believe in mythical Skydaddies are already delusional, so with his idiotic comments, David Silvester just proved that he is stupid and ignorant too.
A Mexican high school student died from drinking highly concentrated liquid methamphetamine at a San Diego border crossing in an attempt to persuade inspectors that it was only apple juice, according to an autopsy report. Cruz Marcelino Velazquez, 16, volunteered to take "a big sip'' at the San Ysidro port of entry in November 2013. He was then handcuffed and taken to a security office, where he began screaming in pain, said something about "the chemicals,'' and shouted, "My heart! My heart!'' in Spanish.
The San Diego County Medical Examiner's report gasve no indication that inspectors asked him to drink the liquid and does not say if they had an opportunity to stop him when he volunteered. Velazquez died hours later at a hospital from acute methamphetamine intoxication. San Ysidro, the nation's busiest border crossing, has emerged as a major corridor for smuggling methamphetamine in the past five years as Mexico's Sinaloa cartel has increased its presence in the area.
The late Cruz Velasquez joins a long list of Darwin Awards recipients who managed to kill themselves before passing on their "Stupid" gene onto any offspring. The idiot knew that the bottle contained a deadly narcotic, yet to get out of a drug bust, he drank enough of the stuff to send him to the cemetery. All one can say is - good riddance to another dope-drinking dope.
A British woman has tried to sue her former lawyers for failing to properly explain to her that getting a divorce would end her marriage. Jane Mulcahy claimed that her lawyers were negligent because they didn't take into account her Roman Catholic faith in providing marital advice. The devout Christian wanted to avoid a divorce and she claimed that the two solicitor firms should have recommended judicial separation, a step away from full divorce, as an alternative course of action.
The bizarre case was rejected by the court, but was revealed in the transcript of a later appeal by the claimant against the dismissal of other aspects of her case. The appeal was also dismissed.
One really has to wonder how stupid this woman is. Possibly being a devout Christian has something to do with it, as anybody who believes in imaginary beings and fairy stories has to be quite delusional and illogical. But in this day and age, for somebody living in a first-world nation such as Britain to not understand the meaning of divorce is the height of ignorance. Hopefully her ex-husband will be most pleased to get this idiot out of his life.
Two inebriated Russians in a Siberian mining region both cut off their own left ears after betting on the result of an arm wrestling contest. The men were drinking to celebrate Orthodox Christmas and held an arm wrestling contest, agreeing that the loser had to cut off his ear. One of the men won the first bout, but his opponent insisted on a second round, which he won. The two men then decided that according to their rules, both must cut off their ears.
"The men voluntarily cut off their left ears. One completely and the other half off. They were hospitalised with these injuries," police said. The men's drunken escapade echoed Dutch artist Vincent Van Gogh, who also cut off part of his left ear.
Ah yes, good old Vincent, who once walked into a bar and the barman said, "Would you like a beer?" Vincent replied, "Nah, I have one ear ('ere)." That was a joke and those two Russian idiots are a bigger joke. The entertainment in Siberia must be extremely boring if these Russians have to resort to amputating body parts for bets. Have these fools not considered betting for money instead? However, these miners are so moronic that hopefully next time they arm-wrestle, the loser cuts off his testicles and thus won't pass his "Stupid" gene onto any offspring.
A tourist is lucky to be alive after she fell into Melbourne's Port Phillip Bay while browsing on Facebook. The woman was walking along St Kilda pier engrossed in social media, when she walked off the pier into the icy waters of the bay. A quick-thinking witness raised the alarm and police rushed to the scene. Police on land were able to point out the position of the distressed woman, floundering in the water, to water police units who rescued her about 20 metres from the pier.
It is believed that the woman did not know how to swim. She was taken to hospital for treatment. There was no need for a lost property report as the woman kept hold of her mobile phone throughout the entire ordeal.
What a brainless twit this woman is. When you walk, you are supposed to be looking where you are going, not fool around browsing social media. This fool could have easily become another Darwin Award recipient if she had drowned, however if she had died, the collective IQ of the planet's population would have increased.
Debbi Wood makes her partner Steve take a lie-detector test every time he leaves the house to prove he's been faithful. She has banned Steve from watching women on TV or looking at them in magazines. She trawls through his emails and checks his phone several times a day. Even his bank statements aren't safe. This is all because Debbi suffers from Othello Syndrome, a mental disorder which causes her to believe Steve has been unfaithful.
"Even if Steve pops out for 15 minutes to buy a pint of milk, I make him take a lie-detector test as soon as he gets home," Debbi stated. "I get so worried that he's been eyeing up the shop assistant that I just have to know the truth."
Mental health experts believe that Debbi's unusual disorder was triggered by emotional trauma from a previous long-term relationship. When that relationship broke down, she vowed to never get into another one. Then she was introduced to Steve on Facebook. "I think he's gorgeous," Debbi says. "But that's not the issue. It's about whether or not I can trust him not to look at other women while he is out on his own. I don't want him thinking they're hot. If you're in a relationship and you're happy with your partner, you should only have eyes for that person."
When Debbi and Steve met, they lived in different countries. She travelled south to London from her native Scotland for their first date. "The only problem was that we lived so far apart. We started to get serious and made plans to move in together but I then discovered that Steve had been seeing another girl around the time we'd first met," Debbi said. "He claimed he didn't think we were exclusive because of the distance and I forgave him, but I started to doubt whether or not he could be faithful."
As the pair moved in together, Debbi installed childproof filters on Steve's laptop and mobile phone to keep him away from explicit photos of women. But she didn't stop there. "One night, an advert for a women's razor came on television and I felt panicky thinking that Steve was eyeing the model up," she said. "The only thing that could put my mind at rest was banning him from watching any programs that have women in them."
"I won't even let him watch The Weakest Link in case he fancies (host) Anne Robinson, but I'm scared he'll have a sneaky look when I'm in another room," Debbi said. "That's why I decided to order the lie detector online. It was my only way of knowing for sure if Steve's eyes were wandering."
Debbi claims that her partner is generally honest, but she has caught him lying about looking at other women a few times. "Sometimes, I get nervous and the lie detector results come back inconclusive because my heart is hammering, which makes Debbi doubt me," Steve stated. "I'm willing to put up with it, because I know we're soulmates. She's so special to me and a bit of jealousy here and there won't change that." Debbi hopes to marry Steve, who proposed earlier this year. "I've put Steve through a lot but he's stood by me through it all so I know he's the man for me," Debbi said.
The first thing that comes to mind is that Debbi is a terribly ugly, obese piece of work and no self-respecting man in his right mind would be seen with her, whether she has a mental problem or not. Of course Steve is no oil painting either and looks like a feral rat. Of all the women in London Steve could have chatted up, somehow he wound up with this ugly creature who won't even trust him to go out the door for a bottle of milk without subjecting him to a lie detector test. She won't even let him watch TV programs with women in them, which means that Steve doesn't get to watch anything except children's cartoons.
If Debbi happened to be a stunning sexy young blonde with an hourglass figure, one could understand why Steve would put up with the mistreatment dished out by Debbi. But Debbi is a horrible, fat and extremely ugly female with a head like a bulldog and obviously all sorts of mental issues, so Steve is very stupid to tolerate being under her thumb like this. No man should ever put up with such crap. There is absolutely nothing wrong with men looking at females and vice-versa, so for Debbi to intrusively monitor everything Steve does, even to the extent of reading his emails, checking his mobile phone and everything else is disgusting.
If Steve had half a brain and some backbone, he would dump this crazy woman on the spot, move on and leave her to the next sucker who would be mad enough to fall for her. But the idiot proposed to her, which means that he is destined for a life of utter misery and if he doesn't realise this, he probably deserves her.
An Austrian baker owner was sued by two employees for showing them penis shaped gingerbread biscuits topped with whipped cream. The employees claimed that their boss was trying to sexually intimidate them with the cookies and demanded 2000 euros each (A$2900) in compensation.
The baker claimed that he was simply showing his employees a new product. "These cakes are really popular with stag nights and hen nights and other similar events," he stated. "These clients like our sexy products and they use them in their own lives as a bit of fun. It’s no place for prudes."
The judge who oversaw the case at Salzburg’s labour court later dropped the case after the employees accepted an out-of-court settlement. However, the settlement didn’t stop them from being fired from their jobs, while the naughty gingerbread biscuits went on to be "one of our very top sellers", according to the bakery owner.
This is yet another case of stupid people trying to extort money from their employer for no good reason except greed. It is a shame that the bakery owner actually even settled this matter out-of-court, because he really had no case to answer. How the hell can somebody sexually intimidate a person with a cookie? It's ludicrous.
The baker should put the photos and identities of those two employees onto a website and publicise it, so that these two idiots never get a job from anybody who values sensibility. Nobody in their right mind should ever employ people as stupid and rapacious as this. They got a few euros as compensation, but they may now find it very difficult to make a living, as well as being ridiculed for being so prudishly dumb.
A Utah woman convinced her husband to shoot their neighbour, saying he had been "telepathically raping" her for years. Meloney Selleneit, 55, illegally purchased a gun for her husband, Michael Selleneit and incited him to shoot neighbour Tony Pierce twice in the back. Michael Selleneit told police that Pierce was telepathically raping his wife and controlling her mind with crack cocaine. He was sentenced to two separate prison terms of up to 15 years to be served consecutively for attempted manslaughter and use of a firearm by a restricted person.
Trailer trash does not even begin to describe these two morons. Look at the head of this Meloney Selleneit. Who in their right mind would want to even have consensual sex with this horribly ugly creature, let alone want to rape her, in the flesh or any other way? To think that this ugly woman's husband, who also looks like a total imbecile, would imagine that somebody would desire his wife sexually proves that he is also an idiot. Hopefully they will keep this pair of cretins under lock and key for a long time.
An American was tricked into handing himself into police for child pornography offences, after a computer virus told him that the FBI was investigating him. Jay Matthew Riley of Woodmark Virginia, freaked out when an "FBI Warning" message appeared on his computer while he was looking at child pornography at home.
The message, which was a well-known computer hijacking virus, told Riley that he had to either pay a fine or would be subject to a criminal investigation, Prince William County Police Department stated. Instead, Riley took himself and his computer down to the police station to ask if there were any warrants on his file for child pornography. Police found inappropriate messages and photos of girls as young as 13 on the computer and immediately charged Riley with five sexual offences related to the content found on his computer.
At least this computer malware had one excellent, if unexpected effect - it exposed a paedophile and resulted in his arrest. Riley was dumb in the first place by allowing malware to infect his computer, but he compounded his stupidity by showing his child pornography to the cops. It can only be hoped that all other paedophiles are as stupid as Riley and that they hand themselves over to police if their computers are infected by the same malware.
Driving unregistered and uninsured were the least of an Adelaide man's problems when he was pulled over in the city's north-eastern suburbs. Police officers stopped his Holden sedan on Sudholz Road at Gilles Plains, believing him to be driving dangerously in the morning's peak-hour traffic.
The officers discovered that not only were two tyres blown out, but the steering wheel was missing, leaving the driver to control the vehicle with a pair of Vise-grips. Further investigations led police to believe that the vehicle had just been involved in a hit-and-run crash in Northfield only minutes earlier.
The driver, a 38-year-old Northfield man, was driving while disqualified and returned a positive drug test to methyl amphetamine and cannabis. He was arrested and charged with driving without due care, failing to stop at the scene of a crash, driving in a manner dangerous, driving while disqualified, unregistered, uninsured and contrary to defect and breaching his bail conditions.
This imbecile should have been charged with unsuccessfully impersonating a human being, because even a monkey would have more intelligence than him. Imagine this idiot driving and steering a car with Vise-grips while stoned out of his mind. They must breed them exceptionally stupid in South Australia and this particular example should be locked away somewhere for a long time, where he can't inflict his stupidity onto anybody and risk their lives.
London-born Chloe Jennings-White is so desperate to be disabled she is willing to undergo a $25,000 operation so she can live the rest of her life permanently in a wheelchair. She uses a wheelchair and lives as if she is a paraplegic, despite being completely able-bodied and a passionate skier. The 58-year-old, who now lives in the US with her lesbian wife Danielle, said she had wanted to be disabled for as long as she could remember. But it was only around five years ago that her unusual condition made sense when she was diagnosed with Body Integrity Identity Disorder. The rare psychological condition makes sufferers feel they want to be disabled.
Jennings-White stated that the only thing stopping her from getting the surgery, which would leave her permanently disabled, was a lack of money. She said that she had even tried to have accidents so she could lose the use of her legs and that her surgery dream would be the happiest day of her life. Jennings-White even found a doctor overseas who was willing to cut her sciatic and femoral nerves. She said: "I'll never be able to afford it, but I know I won't regret it if I ever can, and I don't know why it upsets people. It's the same as a transsexual man having his penis cut off. It's never coming back, but they know it's what they want."
She admitted she always wondered why she was born needing legs and the first time she sat in a wheelchair, which she had ordered off the Internet, it felt right. As a child and teenager she didn't tell anyone about her feelings but would bandage her legs up at home when she was alone so she could pretend she was disabled.
Jenning's wife Danielle had no idea when they met in 2006 but Jennings-White soon confessed after a back injury gave her the perfect excuse to wear leg braces. It was during the search online for leg braces that she read about BIID for the first time and was relieved there were hundreds of others like her. Despite Danielle doing all the housework and gardens, Jennings-White said her wife was understanding. "I told her it had been going on my whole life, and I couldn't stop. She was shocked but vowed to stand by me when I told her it was the only way I could be happy," she said. Jennings-White has received hate mail and even death threats, but insists most of her friends have been supportive and understanding of her condition.
The problem with this Jennings-White woman is that she is crazy - literally crazy as well as being really stupid. There are literally millions of disabled people in the world that would kill to be able-bodied and here is a person who would pay a doctor to turn her into a cripple. The worst part of this is that some fool has invented a name - Body Integrity Identity Disorder - and made it a medical condition. Sure it's a medical condition - it's called insanity.
But what the hell, if this Jennings-White idiot wants to turn herself into a paraplegic and spend the rest of her life in a wheelchair, that's fine, as long as she doesn't suddenly decide to try and claim any sort of concessions from governments and charities for being disabled. And the best part is that once she becomes a cripple, she can't change her mind and have it reversed and she will be stuck with the condition. Hopefully she will be happy being a burden on her partner.
A black woman in the USA filed a complaint with the Tennessee Department of Health after she said that a doctor told her that her back pain was caused by her "ghetto booty", an American expression for grossly protruding buttocks. "I think I blacked out after he said 'ghetto booty.' I think my mind was just stuck on the phrase because I couldn’t believe he said that," 55-year-old Terry Ragland said.
Ragland said she had been to the doctor's office several times before, but this was the first time she had seen this particular doctor. The doctor ordered x-rays for her, then returned with the diagnosis. "There's no cure for it, but I could probably give you something if you're having pain," he said.
Ragland said that she complained to the office manager, who apologised. Then, a few weeks later she received a letter from Dr Timothy Sweo himself. In the letter, Sweo said, "I was trying to take technical conversation regarding your lower back and make it less technical." That technical information was a diagnosis of lumbar lordosis, or a curve of the lower spine. Instead of telling Ragland this diagnosis, Sweo simply called it ghetto booty.
And that is what this woman had - a protruding bum, commonly seen on black women and what they themselves call ghetto booty. The problem with black people in the USA is that they very hypocritically use these expressions, such as "Nigger" and "Ghetto Booty" freely amongst themselves, yet are grossly insulted if white people use them.
Dr Sweo should probably have told Ragland that she suffered from lumbar lordosis, but chances are that she may not have understood what he was saying. How many laymen would know what lumbar lordosis was? Virtually nobody except doctors would know it. So Sweo put it into words that this black woman understood - she had Ghetto Booty. It's just a shame that the office manager apologised for this perceived insult that was no insult at all, just the truth.
Japanese intent on changing their fate have begun having plastic surgeries to alter their palms. The new trend relies on the ancient art of palm reading, also known as palmistry, the belief that you can tell a person’s future based on the lines on their palms. Plastic surgeons have reported an increase in patients asking for operations to extend or add lines associated with luck or marriage. The surgeries cost around $1100 and are performed with an electric scalpel.
Takaaki Matsuoka, a plastic surgeon at the Shonan Beauty Clinic’s Shinjuku branch in Tokyo, said: "If you try to create a palm line with a laser, it heals, and it won’t leave a clear mark. You have to use the electric scalpel and make a shaky incision on purpose, because palm lines are never completely straight." Around 40 palm plastic surgeries have been performed at the Shonan Beauty Clinic alone in the last two years.
The surgery is popular with men and women and usually takes 10 to 15 minutes, includes anywhere between 5 and 10 lines on the palm, and takes about a month to heal. Dr Matsuoka said that men usually wish to change lines related to business success, such as the fate line, the money-luck line and the financial line. Women often want to change their marriage line.
This proves that there is never a shortage of gullible fools on this planet. It is almost beyond belief that there are people who think that cutting lines on their palms will actually going to affect the future. The only future something like this will affect is if they succumb to an infection from the cuts and die, or have their hands amputated.
In any case, palmistry is a stupid scam with absolutely no foundation in fact. Think about it. Does a person whose hands are amputated suddenly die because his lifelines vanish along with his hands? Of course not. There is not a shred of evidence to show that there is any basis for palmistry or any of the other paranormal scams, such as astrology, phrenology, crystal ball gazing, psychics and clairvoyants and all the rest of the baloney that stupid suckers believe.
Dr Michael Brand, the director of the Art Gallery of New South Wales, announced the purchase of a mixed-media "artwork" by American Ed Rausch. The price was not revealed, but it was in the millions of dollars. But what did these millions of dollars of of taxpayer money actually buy?
This "artwork" is a square canvas with the word "GOSPEL" slanted across it, with what appears to be bits of shit splattered throughout the word. But cop the description of this piece of rubbish by somebody writing on the Art Gallery of NSW's website.
"Choosing a bold, sweeping typographic style for this culturally loaded subject that is more suggestive of commercial sign-writing than holy scripture, he teases at its gravitas then, literally, pierces it, and the raw canvas on which it is painted, with metal arrows. This simple but powerful physical element introduces the act of martyrdom to the reading of the composition. Moving between two and three dimensions, Ruscha’s Gospel holds the sublime and the banal in perfect tension, making overt reference to the divine text while evoking the everyday reality of popular devotion."
One would have to possess quite the imagination - or maybe be under the influence of some mind-bending narcotic - to write crap like this. This piece of garbage could be easily produced on canvas by anybody with access to Photoshop or Microsoft Publisher and a decent large-format printer. But because some clown in the USA is considered to be an "artist", the Art Gallery of NSW was moved to spend millions of dollars on this idiocy.
The Australian people have previously fallen victim to governments spending millions of dollars on garbage that is supposed to pass for art. The Whitlam regime very proudly purchased a piece called Blue Poles, by American Jackson Pollock. This large canvas is nothing more than meaningless daubs of paint and Pollock is renowned for calling his friends to stand around and piss on his artwork to give it some sort of cachet. One can conclude that Pollock's piss is included in the ridiculous price that we taxpayers forked out for this piece of utter shit.
What passes for art these days is a disgrace, when compared to the works of the great painters of yesteryear, such as Rembrandt, Titian, Constable and many more. Once Picasso and his ilk started churning out paintings of women with 5 eyes and three noses and Andy Warhol knocked out a picture of a can of soup and some idiot bought it for many millions of dollars, real art was perverted completely, especially by the perverts who claim to be art critics, but wouldn't know their arses from their elbows.
The Art Gallery of NSW should be thoroughly ashamed of itself for blowing millions of dollars on this Gospel garbage. But idiocy reigns supreme in the art world and pretentious prats will ponce around claiming that so-called "art" like this Gospel thing is actually worth something and has some aesthetic value.
A Norwegian TV show tricked five teenage girls to convert to Islam just to win Justin Bieber tickets. The five agreed to convert, totally unaware that they were being duped for the comedy show. The girls were also told to repeat what translated to, "Justin Bieber is impure and probably gay." The show’s presenter said, "We wanted to find out how far Norwegian ‘Beliebers’ are willing to go for tickets to one of Bieber’s concerts."
This merely goes to show how really stupid some people are. To consent to convert to another religion, especially that malignant death cult of Islam, merely to get tickets to a concert, proves that these idiotic teenagers would do pretty well anything to get hold of those tickets. One can imagine that they would quite easily consent to being raped by a donkey to see this Bieber person. People don't get much dumber than these moronic girls.
A prisoner was detected smuggling a mobile phone inside his bottom after guards heard the device ringing. The 58-year-old convict had concealed the phone, along with a hands-free headset, in his body cavity. The items were discovered when prison guards at Welikada jail in Colombo, Sri Lanka, heard a suspicious ringing.
"Guards knew he had a phone at the wrong end," a guard stated. An X-ray taken of the prisoner in a local hospital reveals the phone and handset in all their glory. No word on what happened to the phone in question.
Prisoners do smuggle things into jail, but one has to wonder how big this guy's anal cavity was if he could accommodate an entire mobile phone and a hands-free device in it. The people at the hospital would have fun extracting the phone.
A Belgian woman drove for nearly 1500 kilometres through six countries before realising her car navigation system had "gone wrong". Then she had to drive all the way back. Sabine Moreau, 67, left her home at Solre-sur-Sambre to pick up a friend from the train station at Brussels. The journey was meant to last just 61km, but she took a wrong turn and ended up 1500km away in Zagreb, Croatia.
It's believed she drove through France, Germany, Austria and Slovenia on the way. She passed traffic signs in different languages and stopped to refuel her car several times and get some sleep, but didn't stop to question the TomTom sat-nav until 60 hours later when she realised she may not have been in Belgium anymore.
"I saw all kinds of traffic signs. First in French, then in German - Cologne, Aachen, Frankfurt," she stated. "But I didn't ask myself any questions. I was just distracted, so I kept my foot down. I didn't really notice anything was wrong until I suddenly arrived in Zagreb and realised that I was no longer in Belgium." Her worried son reported her missing to police. A manhunt was called off when she phoned home to tell him she was in Croatia.
Some people should never be allowed to leave their houses because they are far too stupid to be let loose on the world. Sabine Moreau did not even have the commonsense to ask herself whether her GPS receiver was guiding her to the correct destination, but instead of checking up, she drove through four countries before she finally realised where she was.
There are occasional news reports about morons following their GPS guidance and driving into lakes and off cliffs and one wonders why they simply did not look where they were going. But this Belgian woman passed many signs to places such as Cologne, Aachen and Frankfurt and surely being a European, she should have realised that those places were in Germany, not Belgium. But no, she drove on, all the way to Zagreb in Croatia. Sabine Moreau is a cretin who should not be allowed near any modern technology because she is far too stupid to be let loose with it.
It isn't the most glamourous way to shuffle off this mortal coil but that's how it ended for one man after he ate 28 of them - raw. The young Tunisian man died after winning a bet to eat 28 raw eggs in one go.
Dhaou Fatnassi, 20, from the town of Kairouan, swallowed the eggs after his friends challenged him to do so for an undisclosed sum of money. The young man then experienced stomach pains and was taken to hospital but was pronounced dead on arrival.
The world is again saved from this fool's DNA and his Stupid Gene being passed to any offspring. People who take on such stupid challenges usually become candidates for Darwin Awards and the collective intelligence of the human race improves with the timely removal of fools like this idiot.
Two announcers from Sydney FM radio station 2DAY decided to pull a prank when they heard that Kate Middleton, the wife of Prince William of Britain was in hospital, apparently suffering morning sickness. So they rang the hospital and pretended to be the Queen and Prince Charles. They were connected to the nurse, Jacintha Saldanha, who spoke to these two announcers and revealed intimate details of Kate Middleton's condition.
After the prank was put to air, this nurse then committed suicide by hanging herself and left a note, holding the two announcers responsible for her death. This is complete nonsense. Firstly it was the nurse's decision to commit suicide. Nobody had a gun at her head to force her to hang herself. It was completely of her own volition that she decided to kill herself. People all over the world have pranks played on them and don't resort to suicide.
Secondly, this nurse was an idiot. Here were two clowns putting on silly voices, pretending to be the Queen and Prince Charles and one of them was barking, pretending to be one of the Queen's dogs. How any intelligent person could imagine for one second that the Queen would personally ring up the hospital and carry on like an idiot on the phone is just inconceivable. But this nurse could not see through this silly stunt and spilled her guts to the announcers.
So this nurse was a gullible fool and obviously ignorant. So for her to blame the two radio announcers for her suicide is ridiculously stupid and without any merit. She was pranked and most people who are pranked like this would laugh it off, but she decided to commit suicide. Well that was her choice and if she was that stupid, then the world may be better off, now that she has not managed to pass her Stupid Gene onto any offspring.
A teenager shot himself in the penis and testicle while cleaning a gun he just bought. 18-year-old Michael Smeriglio first lied to police saying someone shot him while he was walking down the street. After being questioned by police he admitted to accidentally doing it himself.
Doctors say the bullet went through his penis, his left testicle and then lodged itself in his thigh. Smeriglio told police he bought the gun last month at a party in Florida.
What a shame that Smeriglio didn't manage to shoot off his other testicle and prevent his Stupid Gene being passed on to any offspring if he actually manages to to father one. However, one can only hope that he did enough damage to his penis to stop him using it for sex for the rest of his life. This incident was a fitting punishment for Smeriglio being a complete moron.
Local councillors in the Netherlands are calling for weather forecasters who get their predictions wrong to be fined. The demand comes from Labour councillors in Hoek van Holland who say that bad forecasts are spoiling the local seaside trade. It follows claims that wrong forecasts in both the Netherlands and Belgium are damaging outdoor attractions, as day trippers cancel plans to go out because of poor weather prospects.
Joep Thonissen, head of Recron, the Dutch tourist attraction association, said that incorrect forecasts were causing considerable damage to visitor attractions. He said, "Last week it was really good weather over most of the country but the weather forecasts were full of heavy rain and thunderstorms, so people stayed home."
KNMI, the commercial weather bureau, based at Hilversum, near Amsterdam, whose forecasts are widely used by Dutch TV and newspapers, has been blamed, with Mr Thonissen saying: "Heavy rain above Hilversum does not mean that is the case in the rest of the country."
Pieter van Cutsem, who runs a small hotel in Hoek van Holland, agrees that forecasters should be punished for incorrect predictions,saying: "Despite having more forecasting tools than ever before they often get it wrong. Recent weather reporting has been completely inaccurate and it is hitting local businesses dearly because people are cancelling bookings. I agree they should be fined on the grounds of disseminating incorrerct information."
Cees Molenaars, a spokesman for KNMI, told the Dutch newspaper De Telegraaf: "TV, radio and newspapers use the raw data we deliver but it is up to them to how their forecasts turn out."
The stupidity of this proposal could only have come from loony left-wing idiots and that's what Labour people are. The nett result of imposing fines on weather forecasters will mean that nobody will be game to issue weather forecasts and thus such services will cease entirely.
Despite meteorologists having better equipment than ever before, the weather is always unpredictable and forecasting it is generally more of an educated guess than an accurate prediction of the future. But those Labour imbeciles at Hoek van Holland obviously would like meteorologists to be psychics and clairvoyants. One has to wonder at the stupidity of the people who vote for such clowns.
A US preacher who handled snakes for years to prove faith in God has died of what witnesses say was a timber rattlesnake's bite. Mark Randall Wolford was a pastor at Apostolic House of the Lord Jesus in West Virginia. A photographer and a relative told media outlets that the bite occurred during a service at Panther State Forest.
Wolford died at Bluefield Regional Medical Centre. Neither the hospital nor a funeral home handling arrangements would confirm the cause of death, and relatives didn't return phone or email messages. Officials at Cravens-Shires Funeral Home said Mr Wolford's family had asked that the cause of death be withheld. The state medical examiner refused comment.
Religious morons like Wolford abound in the USA, where the antics of fundamentalist Christian preachers in the Bible Belt have to be seen to be believed. Even worse is that millions of people follow these idiots follow these conmen and hand over a lot of money to them, which is what the whole business is about. But in this case, Wolford's mythical God didn't prevent that rattlesnake from giving him what he deserved.
A North Carolina man faced criminal charges after trying to pass a counterfeit $1 million bill at a Walmart store. Michael Anthony Fuller, 53, was being held in jail on $17,500 bond. His arrest warrant says that he picked out $476 worth of purchases at a Walmart in Lexington, North Carolina on 17 November 2011. At the cash register, he then attempted to pay the cashier with the phony $1 million bill.
Store employees called police, who arrested Fuller. He was charged with felony counts of attempting to obtain property by false pretences and uttering a forged instrument. The US Mint discontinued bills larger than $100 in 1969, due to the lack of public use. The largest bill ever printed was $100,000.
The USA may be the most technologically advanced nation, but there's really only a handful of very smart people there and much of the rest of them are generally dumbed-down morons. Stories like this are quite prevalent and one can only marvel at the utter stupidity these cretins and how they actually manage to make it to adulthood without becoming Darwin Award recipients.
Nigeria's authorities have been forced to reassure the public that a mobile phone number cannot kill, after rumours were spread by text messages. Viral text messages had warned that several people had died when they answered calls with the ID 09141.
The Nigerian Communications Commission said that this was unimaginable and that unscrupulous persons were spreading fear. The text messages gave conflicting accounts of the number of people killed when they answered the call - some put the death toll at 7, while others put it at 10.
"Technically, it is not possible for such a thing to happen. It is therefore unimaginable that somebody will die while receiving a call," commission spokesman Reuben Muoka said. "It is only very gullible people that will believe such a rumour."
Other messages that have caused panic in the past include claims that acid rain from seasonal dust storms can burn people alive. Poor education and superstitious beliefs lead some Nigerians to take the messages seriously.
What this report really shows is that you can take the monkey out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of the monkey. In Africa, many people are killed because of unfounded accusations that they are witches and sorcerers. For a while, there was a spate of killings of Africans who convinced stupid men that they could make their penises vanish if those fools didn't pay them a fee. In actual fact, this is an old routine that stage hypnotists have used when managing to put their subjects into deep trances and suggesting to them that their sex organs had disappeared. But no stage hypnotist has been killed for this.
It is truly amazing how ignorant people can be made to believe the most nonsensical rubbish, but of course this is the entire basis of religion, that faith in something quite preposterously ridiculous and impossible can override even a cursory examination of the facts. So Nigerians will continue to believe that if they answer that dreaded phone call, they will die. One can only hope that if they do, the collective IQ of Nigeria will somehow be raised.
A New Zealand woman who lost a bag filled with cannabis was arrested when she tried to reclaim it as lost property from the local police station. The bag, containing about 20 grams of marijuana separated in tinfoil wraps, a cannabis pipe and a mobile phone, was found at a ferry terminal in Picton on 16 August 2011.
After it was handed over to police in the South Island town, the mobile phone rang and a male caller enquired about its whereabouts, so officers informed him it was at the Picton police station. Patricia Wright was arrested when she turned up at the station to reclaim the bag, immediately admitting the drugs and cannabis pipe were hers. The 61-year-old received a six-month supervision order and was told to undergo counselling when she appeared in the Blenheim District Court.
Fitting words to describe this woman are - idiot, imbecile, moron, stupid, cretinous, insensible, dumb - and many more. Did this woman actually think that the police would not look inside the bag to ascertain what was in it, or who the owner might be? She received a very lenient sentence, but for her, she was obviously sentenced to a life of stupidity from birth. The most amazing thing about this idiot is that she managed to live to the age of 61 without being killed or killing herself a long time ago.
Arizona police warned locals to use holsters, not waistbands, to hold their handguns after a man accidentally shot himself in the genitalia and leg. Joshua Seto, 27, of Chandler Arizona accidentally shot himself with his girlfriend's pink handgun that was tucked in the waistband of his pants as he walked into a food store.
The bullet struck his penis before continuing through his left thigh. Seto may face criminal charges for his carelessness, Chandler police detective Seth Tyler stated. "If you are going to carry a handgun on your person, use a holster, not your waistband."
One can joke and say that this moron cocked his gun - or is that gunned his cock? What can anybody say about an idiot who shoots his own genitals? It's a shame that he didn't blast off his testicles so that his Stupid Gene would not be passed on to any offspring.
A man was gored to death after provoking a bull with an umbrella during a festival in eastern Spain. Local newspaper Las Provincias reported the victim, who was described as around 50, was apparently drunk when he struck the bull with the umbrella.
That enraged the animal during the festivities in the town of Rafelbunyol, in the province of Valencia. The bull cornered the man in a narrow street before goring him several times. The man was taken to the hospital in Valencia, but died following wounds to the chest and the armpit.
Any person who deliberately provokes an animal is heartless and deserves the consequences of his cruelty. This fool thought that he could stab a large bull with his umbrella and nothing would happen, but the bull provided the best outcome by quickly dispatching this bastard to the cemetery. One can only hope that every person who is cruel to an animal suffers the same fate.
In July 2011, emergency services were called to Werribee in Victoria to cut a ring off a distressed man's penis. One fire truck attended the Werribee Mercy Hospital to remove the metal ring from the man's appendage. Several emergency services sources said these types of callouts were common.
Metropolitan Fire Brigade commander Peter Egan warned people to be more careful. "Washers on penises and rings stuck on penises we get once or twice a year," he said. "In my 39 years, I have seen about half a dozen of them. People do stupid things."
It is truly amazing what men will do in order to attain some sort of sexual gratification. There is the terrific true story of the guy who staggered into the emergency section of a hospital, clutching a tenpin bowling ball to his groin. You guessed it - the idiot had inserted his willy into the thumb-hole of the ball and it got stuck. Nobody has managed to find out how the doctors or nurses got the man's penis free of the ball.
Many funny stories abound, such as the fellow in Britain who went to a hospital with his penis stuck in a steel pipe and had to be cut free by firefighters using a metal grinder. One guy got his willy stuck in a park bench and one can only wonder as to what he was doing. A Malaysian welder had to have a nut removed from around his penis after an attempt to lengthen it before he was engaged went embarrassingly wrong.
One of the best stories of penis trauma came from Italy, where a pair of amorous clothes shop employees got in a rather embarrassing situation. 37 year old Salvatore Mazzi, who worked as a security guard at the store, sneaked off with checkout girl Angelina Marcelo for nookie in the staff restroom. During intercourse, 26 year old Angelica suffered a vaginal cramp and Salvatore was unable to withdraw his willy. The randy cashier obviously thought that she had enough time for a bit of the old rumpy pumpy before she left work.
To make matters worse, Angelica’s husband was waiting for her outside the shop, as she had just finished her shift. After waiting a few minutes, the husband went inside to investigate, and eventually barged into the toilet cubicle to find the couple in a compromising position, with the security guard literally stuck up her. The angry husband made no attempt to prise the two adulterers apart, so paramedics were called to grease the couple apart. Mazzi, who was also married, is now single and was also dismissed from his job. On the other hand, Angelica had finished her shift and therefore kept her employment, although her husband has left her.
Zackary John Seiler, 22, plunged from a Townsville apartment balcony to his death after trying to show how far he could spit over the side. He fell three storeys after overbalancing while spitting over the edge of the balcony.
He was quite a tall man, so his centre of mass was quite high, according to a police spokesman. Apparently it was not a spitting competition as such, but Seiler decided to show how far he could spit. As he was doing that, he had been leaning on the rail and he leaned too far forward. Emergency services received a triple-0 call, but he could not be saved, as he had suffered critical head injuries.
Seiler is another excellent Darwin Awards candidate. Hopefully at his tender age, he managed to kill himself before he passed his Stupid gene onto any offspring.
A man stole a car while taking it for a test drive after leaving his driver’s licence details with the Sydney car yard. The man visited a car yard at Warwick Farm in Sydney's southwest and asked to test drive a 2007 model Mitsubishi Lancer.
He agreed to have his licence photocopied before he and a salesman left the dealership in the car. A short time later, the salesman stopped the vehicle and left the driver's seat so the man could take the wheel. Instead, the man locked the doors and jumped into the driver's seat. After a short struggle with the car salesman through a partially open window, he drove away.
Police went to the address on the man's driver's licence in Hurlstone Park, where they allegedly found the Lancer in the driveway. They arrested and charged a 26-year-old man with assault with intent to take and drive a vehicle.
How stupid is this guy? Did he forget within the space of 20 minutes that he left his licence details at the car dealership before he stole the car? It is truly amazing that a dope like this clown managed to survive in this world to reach the age of 26 years.
A motorcyclist protesting helmet laws was killed when he was thrown off his motorcycle and suffered a head injury. Police said 55-year-old Philip Contos was not wearing a helmet when he rode with a group of bikers on Saturday afternoon in Onondaga, New York as part of a helmet-laws protest organised by the group American Bikers Aimed Towards Education.
Contos hit the brakes on his motorcycle, skidded, lost control and was thrown over the handlebars. He was taken to a local hospital where he was pronounced dead. An attending physician said Contos would have likely survived the accident if he had been wearing a regulation helmet.
The helmet laws were instituted for a very good reason. They exist because it has been proven beyond doubt that they save lives. But Contos paid the ultimate penalty for ignoring all the facts and having a fatal accident while riding his motorbike without a helmet. The irony of this is that at the time, he was protesting about having to wear a helmet. Nobody could have sympathy for this idiot.
It is not an achievement that can readily be savoured by his nearest and dearest, but Kailash Singh has as good a claim as any to the accolade of world's smelliest man, after refusing to wash for more than 37 years. Singh, 65, has not bathed or cut his 6ft-long dreadlocks since 1974, shortly after he married.
Explaining his unconventional decision, Singh claimed that a priest guaranteed him a much-prized son and heir if he followed the advice. Despite neighbours joking that the sweaty farmer would be lucky to persuade his wife to have any children at all, his religious guidance clearly failed, because he has seven daughters.
Singh spends his days tending cows in 47 degree heat, yet the only cleansing he does allow himself is a "fire bath" each evening, which involves smoking marijuana, praying to the Hindu Lord Shiva and dancing around a bonfire.
His long-suffering family admit they did once tried to force him into a stream. "He fought us off and ran away," said wife Kalavati Devi, 60. "We've tried several times since to force him to have a shower but he puts up such a fuss. He says he'd rather die than take a bath and only a son could change his mind. It has been so many years now I've got used to it."
Firstly, this shows the utter stupidity of religion. A priest guaranteed that Singh would have a son if he did not wash and despite the fact that Singh did not wash, he has only managed to father some daughters. So the priest was wrong as they usually are. Secondly, it shows the utter gullibility and stupidity of Singh, who believed the priest and who still prays to Shiva and dances around a bonfire. One has to wonder how Singh's wife let him close enough to her for him to make her pregnant seven times. She obviously has no sense of smell.
These are the real responses on Child Support Agency forms in the "Father's Details" section from British women in Manchester.
A British man who won £9.7million ($15.5m) on Lotto has squandered it and is now an alcoholic, earning £75 ($120)-per-day as a painter and decorator. Nine years after he famously turned up to collect his winnings wearing an electronic tag, 27-year-old Michael Carroll has turned up in a court again for breaching a community order for drink-driving.
Carroll, who has a string of criminal convictions, frittered away almost his entire fortune on wild parties, cocaine, prostitutes, luxury cars, chunky gold jewellery and cash hand-outs to hangers-on. He made the lives of neighbours a misery by buying a 1.2 hectare field to stage demolition derbies in old banger cars behind his former home in Swaffham, Norfolk.
Carroll was finally forced to sell his dream home for a £600,000 ($970,000) loss last August after wrecking it. He started working as a painter after going on the dole.
Ian Graham, defending Carroll, told how his life fell to pieces. "He is an alcoholic, but he has been very honest about his alcohol issues with the probation service. He continues to drink heavily and it has now become far more than social drinking.
Carroll was spared jail last September after he was caught driving his car while nearly four-times the drink-drive limit near his home in Downham Market, Norfolk. He was given a 16-week prison sentence, suspended for a year, 120 hours unpaid work and ordered to attend probation appointments and an alcohol programme.
This case highlights the difference between smart people and stupid people. Give a smart person $1 million and he will turn it into $10 million in a couple of years. Give an idiot $1 million and a few months later, he will have nothing. This is why socialism and communism don't work, simply because people are not equal. No matter what you do for an idiot, no matter how much you lavish money on him that is obtained by taxing the smart people, an idiot will remain an idiot and squander whatever he is given. And Carroll is an idiot of the highest order.
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 note. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c.
She said, "You gave me too much money."
I said,, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar coin back."
She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the 25c, and said "We're sorry but they could not do that kind of thing."
The clerk then proceeded to give me back 75 cents in change.
We had to have the garage door repaired. The repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a large enough motor on the opener.
I thought for a minute and said that we had the largest one made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower motor."
I responded that 1/2 horsepower was larger than 1/4 horsepower and he said, "No it's not. Four is larger than two."
We live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbour call the local council Parks and Wildlife office to request the removal of the WOMBAT CROSSING sign on our road.
The reason: "Too many wombats are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore."
My daughter went to a Mexican takeaway and ordered a taco.
She asked the person behind the counter for minimal lettuce.
He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce.
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate, when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?"
To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?"
He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."
The stop light on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with a co-worker of mine from the Adelaide Post Office. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red.
Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?"
When my husband and I arrived at a car dealership to pick up our car after a service, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door.
As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked.
"Hey," I announced to the technician, "It's open!"
His reply, "I know. I already got that side."
In February 2011, two of Malawi's most senior judicial officials have been arguing over whether a new bill includes a provision that outlaws breaking wind in public. Justice Minister George Chaponda says the new bill would criminalise flatulence to promote public decency. "Just go to the toilet when you feel like farting," he told local radio.
The new Local Courts Bill reads: "Any person who vitiates the atmosphere in any place so as to make it noxious to the public to the health of persons in general dwelling or carrying on business in the neighbourhood or passing along a public way shall be guilty of a misdemeanour."
Chaponda, a trained lawyer, insists that this includes farting. "Would you be happy to see people farting anyhow?" He said that local chiefs would deal with any offenders.
One has to wonder if Chaponda has ever farted in a public place in his life. It's not quite the same as trying to hold off taking a leak and finding a toilet. A fart just happens, mostly spontaneously, so a law to criminalise farting in public is stupid and insane. In any case, Malawi is a third-world toilet of a country, so farting anywhere in it should be fine.
Virgin Atlantic airline staff have revealed some of the stupid questions that they are asked by passengers.
Flight Centre travel agency staff have a nice list of stupid questions from travellers.
The Sandton Sun Hotel In Johannesburg, South Africa, employed a worker to clean the hotel's two elevators. Jack Maxim, a spokesman for the hotel, promised to keep the worker's identity confidential, but stated that this man was no longer in the employ of the hotel.
It seems that the worker spent four days on the job of cleaning the elevators. When Maxim asked him why it took so long, the worker replied, "Well, there are forty of them, two on each floor and sometimes some of them aren't there."
Eventually it dawned on Maxim that this worker thought that each floor had a different elevator and he'd cleaned the same two twelve times. "We had to let him go. It seemed best all round. I understand he is now working for Eskom."
Obviously the old saying still holds true - you can take the monkey out of the jungle, but you can't take the jungle out of the monkey.
When novice criminals Brittney Sykes and Emma Westhusing found a tracking device in the loot from a bank robbery they switched on their computer. The decision to investigate and hide the device in their car, led them to keep the proceeds from their robbery of a credit union in Oregon - $1370 - for a paltry 20 minutes.
The tracking device was placed among the 48 bills a female bank teller handed over, website The Smoking Gun reports. The duo found the suspicious device when they returned to Sykes Westhusing’s house to count the loot.
Sykes told investigators that she “went to a computer and searched the Internet to figure out what the device might be.” Panicking and assuming that the pair would be busted, Sykes ran out to her car and hid the device underneath the driver's side floor mat in her purple Hyundai Accent.
For her part, Westhusing said that when the tracking device was discovered, Sykes thought it was a dye bomb, so she threw it against the wall. She then stomped on it, and then looked up what it was on the Internet.
While the pair was busy Googling, Oregon police were following the GPS signal to Sykes’s Portland residence. The women were arrested on a federal bank robbery charge.
A woman with a black rubbish sack over her head attempted to rob a jewellery shop while her accomplice waited outside with her getaway vehicle - a wheelchair. The farcical hold-up began when Noemi Duchene arrived outside the jewellers in El Paso, Texas, having being pushed to the store in a wheelchair.
As CCTV cameras captured her arrival outside the Estate and New Jewellery store, the 44-year-old rose out of the wheelchair. She clumsily covered her head and body with a billowing black rubbish sack with two holes cut out for her eyes before walking into the store.
Once inside she pulled out a 30cm-long hunting knife, approached owner Linda Bradley and demanded "everything". But Ms Bradley swiftly assessed the situation. Rather than be scared, the CCTV showed her running behind the counter to grab a pink-coloured stun gun and giving chase.
Some people are too dangerous to be allowed in public because they are too stupid. This idiot would-be robber is a menace to herself. Just the fact that she and her accomplice used a wheelchair says it all.
01 June 2010 - A Los Angeles woman is suing web giant Google for giving her "unsafe" directions while travelling interstate. While in Park City, Utah, Lauren Rosenberg used her BlackBerry to ask Google Maps for walking directions to Prospector Avenue from Daly Street. The directions led her onto a busy highway where she was hit by a car. She sued Google and the car's driver over the incident.
Ms Rosenberg claims the driver, Patrick Hardwood, failed to keep a proper eye out for pedestrians, failed to keep control of the car and was speeding. But, she claimed in a lawsuit that Google was also responsible for leading her onto the highway in the first place.
"As a direct and proximate cause of Defendant Google's careless, reckless, and negligent providing of unsafe directions, Plaintiff Lauren Rosenberg was led onto a dangerous highway, and was thereby stricken by a motor vehicle," the lawsuit said.
When accessed from a computer, Google Maps displays a warning next to the walking directions to Prospector Avenue from Daly Street. "Use caution - This route may be missing sidewalks or pedestrian paths," the warning reads. However it is not clear if the warning is displayed to users who access the directions from a BlackBerry. The warning does not appear on an iPhone.
How stupid is this woman Laura Rosenberg? There she was, walking along and she comes across a busy highway. Any normal person would see cars whizzing by and take necessary precautions, but not our intrepid Ms Rosenberg. She decided to take the advice of Google Maps over that of her eyes and senses and got hit by a car as a result.
But of course, in the litigious society that the USA has become, this woman decided to blame everybody else for her own stupidity - the driver of the car who hit her when she stepped out onto the busy highway without looking and Google, which merely provided an electronic map. This lawsuit is a complete abrogation of this woman's responsibility for her own actions and hopefully it will be thrown out on its ear and all costs awarded against her.